Lucky for me my parents were both “I didn’t save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I’m older”, so I don’t have to suffer through this.
No one should expect to inherit anything when their loved ones die.
The worst people are those that are too lazy to build something on their own, but sit around praying for their parents death so they can inherited and live an easy life.
Lewis Carroll has an interesting piece about that. Brings up the point that if someone works hard to benefit the community, and their wealth represents the response of the community to repay that person’s work, perhaps it’s not unreasonable that that person’s request is, “repay it to my children,” i.e. inheritance.
What’s infuriating about this? Why the heck should I inherit something I haven’t worked for? I’ve always told my parents and grandparents that dying with an empty bank balance is the ideal way to go. Hell, preferably be in debt.
This apparently is a hard pill to swallow for some. They can’t wrap there head around having to work hard to eventually relax and enjoy life.
This is a very salty topic. It seems many are pining for their inheritances.
I agree with OP. I have zero material expectations of my parents. But, I do expect they return that grace and don’t use the past or possibility of inheritance to manipulate me. I’m very wary of codependence.
Inheritance is a stepping stone to get out of poverty over generations. If the next generation can build upon it.
The family financial obligations have become obliterated in American society. It is no longer the case that parents are expected to help their adult children establish themselves in a home and it is no longer the expectation that adult children financially care for their parents.
The loss of an inheritance is part of that.
Exactly my thoughts too. Life’s meant to be lived. Hoarding assets to save for an uncertain future is counterproductive even in terms of economy at large, if one’s inclined to think that way.
It creates expectations that don’t seem natural, and then leads to disappointments and bitterness when life does not go as planned, as it never will.
But then again, I get wanting to make things better for your children. But at least for me, it seems less prone to pure chance and circumstance if the efforts went into building a more sustainable, inclusive and supportive country to live in. And enjoy the ride while it lasts, since your pain and suffering will reflect on your children, want it or not. If things are tight and you get stressed from that, it’s always going to affect everyone around you, often negatively. If, instead, you could relieve that stress by not saving more than you need as a buffer here and now, or for something like a house (I.e not for some abstract future that might never come, for your children who might not live that far, but are here now, with you), that’s probably going to be much better for everyone. Smiles generate smiles and it’s not a zero-sum game. Life well lived is one with smiles, not one with fragile, ephemeral value of some sort stored away with sweat and blood.
But of course if there’s already too much to use realistically, why not do that then. But that’s an entirely different discussion altogether, if we ever should have something like that.
Edit: there’s a distinction I failed to emphasis enough, between a realistic and very worthwhile buffer of saved value for unexpected situations, which everyone should of course have, and saving for no reason at all, other than just having excess that isn’t needed for anything, to maybe if one’s very lucky pass on down the line.
Saving assets and value isn’t bad. But saving it for no practical reason other than inheritance, takes that value out of circulation and makes everyone in your economy worse off. If that’s important to you. But more importantly, it often means a life less well lived, and often one full of stress, tiredness and one with less time actually spend with your family and close ones in general. Which is enormously more negative in impact than any amount of money in excess, or lack thereof, could ever have when you finally die.
It comes from a time where your whole family lived in the same house and the kids eventually take care of their parents. In todays system where people usually dont live with their parents for very long, it doesnt really make sense anymore. People need money long before they get to the age where their parents die. Getting a bunch of money at 30, to establish a life/family, is much more useful and long term impactful than getting it at 50-60. So inheritance is a flawed idea from the start.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to pass the product of your entire life to your offspring, surely. We can’t be so atomised. Where do you think it should go? Inheriting an empire is one thing, but why shouldn’t you be able to give your own house to your child? I say this as somebody disowned by their father.
My criticism isn’t aimed at parents who want to leave an inheritance to their kids. It’s directed at those kids who expect it from their parents, as if they’re somehow entitled to it.
I’m genuinely not sure what the ethical position is. Maybe they are. Having watched a generation squander the massive wealth gains of what will likely be a unique economic boom, I don’t necessarily think the consumption of that wealth in the name of “living” - often a euphemism for hedonism - is something to be celebrated.
My dad just died destitute and my mother will probably have nothing when she passes. I’m ok with that, I am my own person. People complaining about losing out on inheritance are fucking spoiled brats. “ you spent the money you worked for? Boo hoo hoo, I wanted your money though “
This is a flippant and unproductive comment that ignores the fact that we have a culture of passing down what you have to your children so that they can have a better life than you had - something many of these boomers benefitted from.
I get not everybody is entitled to it but it’s kind of considered a major goal for a lot of Americans to do that for their children. Which means it reflects poorly on the boomers who have said “nah fuck you” after also pillaging our future for their wealth.
I’m not quite a boomer, but I do see this generation as just wanting hand-outs. -Oh wait… that’s just how it appears online because they’re the ones with all the time to post about it.
millennials may miss out
Love how that title makes it sound millennials are somehow to blame
I don’t see that. To me it reads as guilt tripping the parents for wanting to spend the money they themselves earned.
Indeed, OP is a stupid take. For all the shit boomers pulled off with this planet, spending their own money is a good thing.
Yeah they should be allowed to burn everything they ever touched and take it with them when they go. Or maybe we even build giant stone triangles for them and put all their stuff in there with them.
Them getting to spend all the money scraped from the rest of the world and leaving a bleaker version behind us so justified. They put in all that effort and who cares about next generations anyways.
Common phrase of course:
“Cut down all the trees you planted in life so that nobody but you can ever sit beneath it’s shade.”
It is one thing if a kid’s parents just does not have the means, but the article points out that some baby boomers (maybe more commonly in a the west?) can have tendencies to be spiteful toward people deemed less. Maybe this happens more so in WASP culture.
I’m personally of the belief that if I ever chose to have kids, that I would see it to the end that they felt supported, regardless of their age. The kids themselves didn’t ask to be born.
A lot of cultures who have these values, I notice, have kids that thrive a lot more. I have some friends from east Asia, and they all were encouraged to be independent and pursue meaningful careers. Their parents support them intensely, and help with investments and other forms of support.
My biological father’s family is Jewish (nonreligious). My first cousin is very successful and I know has been set up to have a meaningful career, because my aunt let her live at home during graduate school, and paid for her graduate degree in speech pathology. She will inherit the house she grew up in.
I grew up in WASP culture on my biological mother’s side, and my mom has the attitude that she wants nothing to do with me, especially after I turned 18.
