I’m actually lucky enough to have a job that is in line with my passion. Sure I wish I and my fellow workers had more say in the way the business was run, but it’s better than most of my other options in this competitive field.

I enjoyed my last job, until I didn’t. I decided to leave and live off my savings for a few months. It was the best decision I ever made for my mental health. More than a few months later, I’m still looking for a job, but with a better understanding of what I want in a job.

Now, do I actually think I’m going to find exactly what I’m looking for? Probably not lol. But whatever. I do know there is no reason to stay at a job you don’t like, and every time I change jobs, I like to think I’m getting closer to one I can stand long-term.

Don’t take my advice. I am a stranger on the internet.

I used to be in the B2B tech industry and even though I liked what I did within my team for a living, it always felt like I wasn’t contributing anything of substance to society. Then everyone in the tech industry was laid off so I nabbed a job in the healthcare industry. I knew going in that I might be contributing negatively to society, but I was desperate and beggars can’t be choosers. I was hoping the layoffs would have blown over by now and I’d be able to start looking again, but the layoffs are STILL happening. And now that the whole UHC situation has happened, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time. I still like my team and the things I do within that team, but I loath my company and will jump ship the second I’m able. It’s really a shame too as I feel I’ve done all my best work so far at this company and have grown a lot in just 2 years. But I can’t stomach contributing to evil for longer than I have to.

Ambivalent is the best word for me.

I’m finding that I will eventually resent anything I am compelled to do under threat of poverty, no matter how much I may otherwise enjoy it. Knowing that my life can be uprooted without warning if some grumpy asshole doesn’t like my work certainly doesn’t help.

All that being said, I have to admit I am more fortunate than many others with my career. At least I can do it in my pajamas with a cat on my lap. Little to no risk of permanent damage to my body from my line of work. And my salary is pretty good compared to the abysmal median pay in the US.

I really do enjoy my job. There are definitely stressful aspects, and the occasional jerk I work with, but by and large I like it. I work as an independent contractor nurse anesthetist at like 15 different facilities. Every day of every week is different, so rarely gets too boring. I like the variety of facilities and cases I get to do. Hours are usually not too bad. I’m at a place in my career where I rarely work nights, weekends or call unless I volunteer. I only work the days I want, and can take as much time off as I want (no paid vacation though). My bosses are really chill and great to work for.

I’ve recently been offered a different position that is at a single facility, only a handful of case types, steady hours, also no nights weekends, holidays or call, and it comes with a substantial pay bump and paid vacation. All of which is tempting. But it’s been hard to make the decision because I really do enjoy my current job.