Years ago, I tried giving a homeless guy an unopened chicken sandwich I had just got from Burger King. I got two for the price of one, and I didn’t want to eat the other one because I was already pretty full.
So I walked out of the restaurant still holding it, thinking I should find a trash can for it. Then a homeless guy came up to me saying he was so hungry. So I thought “well this kills two birds with one stone!” and offered it to him.
He seemed very unhappy and asked if I had money instead. He took the sandwich begrudgingly. Hmmmmm, it was almost like he was lying about being hungry and actually wanted money to buy drugs or something.
ETA: Tell an honest story in a post that explicitly asks for similar stories. And people get upset. Okay then.
I don’t like these stories. We have to hear one every time a similar situation gets posted.
I bought breakfast for a couple homeless dudes. Gave it to them. No “thanks” for my effort. They grumpily asked me why I didn’t get them coffee, too. Pissed me off as I wasn’t exactly making a lot of money at the time and the purchase wasn’t cheap. Sometimes people are assholes. That’s all there is to it. Plenty of homeless I’ve given a buck and they said “Thanks.” At a previous job a coworker would take packaged foods that were going to be discarded and give them to homeless at the end of the day. Some didn’t want the food and wanted money, others were happy to have it. IMO they do prefer cash so they can buy what they want or need, and don’t have to worry about whether someone put anything bad in the food or if it’s spoiled. I think it’s justifiably surprising if someone says they’re hungry and yet reject your food offering and demand money instead.
Similar experience. A homeless guy ambushed me at the drive thru asking for money to buy a burger. I told him I’d buy him a combo and he said no, only cash. I gave him the money because I honestly don’t care how he spends it, but why ask for a burger at a Burger King of all places if you don’t actually want a burger? Now I’m stuck pretending like I’m some gullible idiot to spare him his dignity when he could have just asked for money.
Meaning he probably wasn’t homeless and was just a beggar. I’ve seen plenty of those sorts in my hometown.
When I was a teenager I used to hang out with the beggars at the major train station in town when I was travelling around to kill time. I bought hot dogs from the cart for a few of them and they thanked me and ate with me, but said they had plenty to eat. Apparently they rented an apartment together in cash with the proceeds of their begging. They weren’t living large, they just didn’t want to or couldn’t work a regular job. I don’t regret spending time with them and hearing their stories, and they wouldn’t take my money because I was just a kid.
I was getting Carl’s Jr and a dude hanging around there stopped me and asked if he could have some food. So I bought a couple meals and the person at the drive-thru window asked if he had bothered me. I said no and handed the homeless guy his food before I drove away. He was appreciative and said thank you. I guess you just never know… 🤷♂️
It happens.
Here’s a happier tale to balance the vibe.
When traveling with my family, we often stop for a light meal midway to break up the monotony of the trip.
One time we stopped at a place we don’t care for the food, and bought a particularly light meal to settle our stomachs for the remaining minutes on the way to our favorite food stop.
Toward the end of our quick stop, a stranger offered my oldest an unopened burger from his own meal that he wasn’t going to finish.
I think he probably noticed our order was on the small side and maybe worried whether my oldest got enough to eat.
My kid was fine, of course, he got as much as he wanted and knew we were stopping soon somewhere he liked better.
But that guy’s compassion stuck with me.
So now there’s a line item in my budget for donations to a local food shelter. My intent is to always maintain that recurring donation, in honor of that guy’s compassion.
I’m not upset at your story, I’m upset at you being judgemental toward unhoused persons. There are a lot of people out there when an unhoused person asks for money just refuse to give it because they think they are going by drugs with it (which, yeah, they might), so many unhoused persons have to resort to giving an excuse they think you might be responsive to. You have no idea what they need the money for. Maybe its to get a cheap phone so they have a way to contact someone if thry need help. Maybe they need a hair cut for a job interview. Maybe its for drugs. The thing is, you should give a person the help they ask for and not what you think they need, in my opinion. You are not their parent and what they do with what they ask for is not your business.
It absolutely is my business what a person wants to do with money they’re begging me for.
Honestly I disagree, it absolutely is not. If you don’t want to part with your money, don’t give it, but you are not paying for a service. You are are not entitled to what another person does with the money you give them. Do you want the company you work for to start telling you want yiu can do with the money they pay you? Or is it your money to do with what you want once it is given to you?
What is your justification for why they owe you an explanation?
I was sleeping rough first days in Amsterdam tired and hungry, when a guy I met who had not much himself invited me to his squatted building and offered me potato and onion soup and a glass of port, a place to crash for a couple of days. I will always remember that kindness.
Bit different but I used to cook for the homeless being homeless and later squatting myself for a long time.
In Amsterdam we had “Squat cafe’s” giving out vegetarian food for homeless people. We get the food from the street markets and cook up meals like pasta, bread and garlic butter, salad fruits and vegetables. Many market stalls throw a lot of food away and with some effort you can make a lot of people happy.
My wife and me (25 years later) bring food packets to the local charity program, last week we brought Christmas presents that they will give out next week. The project here is run by volunteers who collect food from the local supermarkets and distribute that to people in need that don’t meet the criteria to apply for the official food bank. There are no questions asked, you can take a certain amount of products and there is advice where to get further assistance or government support.
It is hard to see people waiting for 2 hours in front of the building to get some food. Gets me triggered but I feel we are doing something good for them, although it is limited by only donating instead of volunteering.
A friend of mine packs backpacks full of blankets, toothbrushes, toothpaste, socks, etc. and goes around handing them to homeless people around Christmas.
Sitting outside of a club waiting for friends. It’s late and a guy comes up and asks if I’m ok, if I need an ambulance or something. I must have looked rough. Dude saw that I was just on my phone and apologized before taking off, saying he was just making sure I wasn’t passing out or OD’ing
Not much later I’m walking to meet up with other friends for an after party and see the guy setting up on some cardboard.
I stop and ask him what his deal was, he wasn’t strung out like other homeless around. He told me his story. I said I was headed to Denny’s and would buy him dinner if he wanted.
When we got there he said thanks but he didn’t want to bother my gathering and was going to decline. So I hand him a few hundred bucks that was my party cash. He initially declined but I insisted, because he was humble, genuinely concerned about my drink add, and obviously was going to get himself out of his situation with only a little help and some luck.
I’ve interacted with a number of homeless and never really met another person like that since. I’m sure they are out there, teetering on really hard times.