I work with a needy man, the kind of person who needs constant attention and feels threatened by silence. If I choose to read something on my phone instead of giving him attention he asks if everything’s all right. If I choose to meditate, adopting a yoga like position and closing my eyes before working he asks the same. It’s like he needs people talking to him constantly.
I am the opposite, I believe: I don’t talk about my life at work, I go there because I need a paycheck, but I’m open to learn from more knowledgeable colleagues, something he clearly is not.
What I’ve done so far: avoiding him, not looking him in the eye when he wants to talk to me, telling him that I’m working when he wants to talk to me, giving dull answers, feigning ignorance about several topics, ignoring him when I’m talking to another person and he asks what we’re talking about.
He still comes and sits next to me and tells me about his family, something I don’t care about.
I’m torn because I want to tell him to leave me alone, that I don’t care about his life, but considering the ‘offense’ this seems too much and knowing me I’d immediately regret it and feel bad about it.
Why am I like this?
Buy a Subaru and a nice pair of Doc Martens.
I dont have an answer for you sorry, but i might be able to point you somewhere you might find inspiration to find your own answer
If there is a lemmy equivalent of the subreddits maliciouscompliance, pettyrevenge, prorevenge, or nuclearrevenge or you are willing to go look at the originals, theres a lot of stories that are entertaining and will be a mine of ideas
I think there are diplomatic ways for you to express your preference. You could say: “I don’t mean to be rude, but I prefer to really stay focused at work and socializing can drain my battery or distract me for a while afterward. Is it all right with you if I keep to myself for the most part?”
He’s obviously taking your behavior as a sign that he’s done something wrong, and not just your preference for how you like to be at work. He’s probably trying to fix it or improve relations with you, and this is making it worse. The standoffish behavior you’re showing him is feeding his sense that there’s a problem he needs to address with you, so take a different tack.
If you’re a guy, I have found treating these interactions as mindfulness exercises is helpful. If you’re a woman, he’s in love with you, I’m sorry.
No one seems to be mentioning what I suspect might be the problem here
He’s a man and you’re a woman, is this the case ? and he will NOT leave you alone. I don’t blame you for not mentioning that part, given all the bullshit that straight guys do.
If that’s the case: this is an issue for HR and when they don’t believe you, it’s an issue for a lawyer (because then they might believe you)
