68 points

we enshrined his torture and put it literally everywhere. you think that might have anything to do with it?

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21 points

Well people said if he comes back he’s going to slaughter all of us, maybe making him afraid to come back is the point? Haha

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0 points

Only those who don’t like Him

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7 points

Nah, hes supposed to take all of the ones that followed him to heaven to, so everyone dies right?

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2 points

“you think if JFK comes back he wants to see sniper rifles everywhere?”

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6 points

It’s not like all humankind suffers and he is a relatable representation of our own suffering. Kind of like Iron Man or other heroes.

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3 points

Look, if they did that to Jesus they will do the same or worse to you without batting an eye.

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2 points

Well, Iron Man was crucified for our sins.

As was James T. Kirk.

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5 points

Iron Man had the best last words of the three.

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4 points

#Jesusdiditfirst

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2 points

We tortured Him first

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4 points

I mean, he got better so it’s nbd right?

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1 point

He forgives us if we come to Him :)

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113 points

I feel I’ve seen this exact joke in an SMBC or something several years ago

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109 points
34 points

Even more similar than I remembered!

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24 points

The joke has been around a while, so they probably have made the same joke.

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64 points

That joke’s been around since 1750 BC

Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:

When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : “I will return when the time is right.” Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: “Why, then, has Jesus not returned?”

What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?

You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?

Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er… this is a joke btw)

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15 points

Top tier joke, mate.

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5 points

Our world if Ea-nasir had sold good copper:

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Jesus ain’t coming back until people stop wearing crosses around their neck, scaring him away.

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15 points

Jesus is a vampire?

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24 points
*

I think they mean because Jesus was supposedly murdered on a cross, and then his followers wear said cross as a symbol of their love for him or some shit - which is honestly kind of weird.

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16 points

You think that’s weird? They drink his blood and eat his flesh too.

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5 points

Zombie. Undead, eats flesh and blood, isn’t allergic to sunlight, infection spreads through contact. Zombie.

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5 points

Inverse zombie. Living people eat his flesh.

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40 points

A press conference with aliens? I don’t think so. They’ll be killed and get a very detailed autopsy as soon as they put their feet on the ground

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Then I hope they have no feet! 🤪

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8 points

Unless we were threatened with overwhelming power.

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25 points

It’s so interesting to see reactions of horror triggered by a mention of kindness suddenly putting one’s own actions into perspective.

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