I feel so tired after half a day of work, never mind working a full day. After a couple of weeks of this, when i get home, i have no energy left for anything. Even things I usually enjoy.
Everything feels like a drag at that point and I can’t seem to do anything to improve this.
Doing this for a few more months usually ends up with me having to quit my job or i will get so tired and sick I can’t do anything anymore.
How to deal with this?
No matter how much it sucks, start working out. I know it sounds absolutely counterintuitive but using that energy for a 1h workout will give you so much power back.
When I started working out I joined a boxing fitness class, it was simple. 1 hour, no prep, no need to think about gear and just follow instructions. It was exhausting but it rejuvenated me like crazy. It was like I had never charged my batteries before, because they never really drained so I had all this old, shit energy in me that was finally replenished.
The first few times are rough but you’ll only gain from it, keep at it. Find something that’s easy to get to, near work or home and just do it. Don’t think, pack a bag tonight and try something out tomorrow.
I can’t stress enough how good of an advice working out is. I am incredibly fortunate that I’m living in a beautiful area. So my go to was hiking. It is more time consuming than going to the gym, yes. But I get to see some nice shit and the fresh air is good for my mood. It’s also some great time to keep up with my audiobooks that I love to ignore otherwise.
If you have some mountains in your area give it a try. But it can be costly. At some point you might get a pair of good hiking boots and breathable clothes. But that’s only if you want to go serious with it. For your first few trips casual clothes and shoes will do.
Thanks for the suggestion.
I can’t say I’m really doing a lot of sports. But I do hike a lot these days (the advantage is not having a job atm)
Usually I don’t feel much difference though. (Apart from physical tiredness and my skin feeling burned and dry, I dont deal well with the sun)
Do you think high intensity exercise will make a big difference? I’m a bit scared I’ll do something wrong since I quickly start feeling pain in my neck or knees when doing exercise.
So difficult to tell how much is too much, but still so enough to benefit from it.
Try starting out with bands - they aren’t as hard to the joints as weights.
I started a few years ago with a band and the instructed exercises that came with the band ( all of them have it ). After a few weeks i already had a feeling of how much is ok - it comes with the first times you get aware of your body core.
Now i have a set of different bands for different exercises - i can only recommend this for starters
also, drink much water like lot’s of water
Edit: and, it’s never too late - i started when i was 47, am now 52 and it’s a different world for me. Before that i was in the office or home-office sitting 8 hours a day and completely out of energy after work for years ( + 20 years )
Sounds good. I don’t know anything about that. What sort of bands would you recommend?
High intensity exercise works great for stress and anxiety. Even just a few minutes will make a noticeable difference.
What should I look out for to notice the difference?
I am surprisingly bad at noticing my own mental state, especially when tired.
Usually after exercise I just feel like I need rest. Then I have some rest or a nap and I feel pretty much like normal again. I can’t seem to tell very well.
High intensity helps me. Going to the gym does not give me the same type of drain.
Find something that’s low impact, swimming? The fitness boxing I went to was mainly your own body weight and punching a bag with gloves so not very high impact. Tell the teacher/coach and ask them to recommend you alternative moves.
Get into hot yoga? Zumba or something like that.
Where I live there’s a thing called ClassPass and you buy points in the app that you can then spend on whatever class/sports/gym/whatever you want. See if there’s something similar near you and test shit out.
I think high intensity also gives better results for me. But I can really start sweating like crazy, even with moderate exercise.
I once joined Zumba and was completely soaked and exhausted afterwards. Didn’t want to do it ever again (even though I kinda liked it)
I actually have classpass here, so maybe i should try out the month trial. How expensive are classes in general? Are the businesses that work with classpass decent quality?
I work in IT, so a desk job with almost no movement. If I wasn’t doing sports I’d be crashing hard as well.
I always feel like, if someone with a sporty routine (lets say gym once or twice a week for 2h) stops doing sports for a longer period of time (2 weeks) they will feel generally pissed. But it never feels like sports are the reason. Then you do sports again and suddenly feel much better, at which point you face palm and think ‘of course!’.
And it feels like that every fucking time. It’s stupid but knowing it helps.
I’ll second this. I don’t have autism, but I do have ADHD and I think we have a lot of parallels when it comes to a social battery.
The gym is no joke when it comes to having more energy and drive to do more outside of work.
The first few weeks will not be fun and you’ll be more tired than ever before, but if you preserve then you’ll soon have more energy, feel more alert and generally be healthier. Keeping a good sleep schedule is key too. Go to bed and get up at the same time even on the weekends will work wonders.
I generally don’t quit my job because I like to eat and junk but I tell you it just gets worse as you get older (don’t know how old you are but im not on the low side of a century anymore). Honestly work would not be an issue if not for all the home things. medical, taxes, insurance, dealing with the houshold, etc. If it was just work and relax and it would not be so bad.
Yeah. That’s often something I also have difficulties with.
I can deal with working, or I can do chores, cook, administration and keeping home.
But i can’t seem to do both.
If I’m working full time, I just don’t have the energy left to deal with these tasks. Which also quickly drops my energy further as now I’m eating less healthy, not keeping up with bills and living in a messy environment.
It’s hard to deal with. I’m lucky I can still last some time without working, but it won’t last forever. A few months at most.
Yes this is how I feel. I could keep on top of one or the other but with both it ends up half assing all around.
Ever find a way to deal with this?
Is it just that I’m unable to work as much as other people and should reduce my hours (not really easy though)
Or am I doing the wrong things, losing too much energy because of certain tasks or masking too much or something?
It’s so difficult to tell. And when you feel like all energy is used up, I’m no longer making good decisions at that point. So easy to waste time on useless stuff then.
Paul from Autisme from the inside, recommended that one think about recovery from mental exhaustion as work.
Autisme from the inside: The burnout trap
So have started think 15 mental break/ 45min work. With meditation or non sleep deep rest. Sometime I do 90min or more but take equivalent longer break.
Dr Andrew Huberman
After the 90-minute interval, take a 30-minute break. Use this time to relax, recharge, and step away from your work. This break allows your brain to reset and prepares you for the next focused session. After the break, return to another 90-minute focused session
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HINgMMTzPE
I also noticed that if my Vitamin D level is low it take a lot longer to recover. For non summertime I do 40000IU/day. Summer i do 10000IU/day + as much midday sun without sunscreen I can get.
How do you do this at work though? Is nobody going to find it strange or all about it when you take such a break?
And how to actually have the break if you are in a busy/loud/uncomfortable environment?
I think i could build in some more breaks when working from home, but at work it’s almost impossible. I just don’t feel safe/comfortable at work, so I can’t really take a proper break.
We have a dedicated short rest room. But I have also done it common area or at my desk.
I wear my good friend, noice canceling headphones.
I can understand that you don’t feel safe/comfortable. How do you get comfortable with something new if you don’t try?
I think it’s more the feeling that somebody will call me out when resting, or that I might miss something important, or unfamiliarity with the people around me.
At work i already feel like I’m constantly alert. Trying to sing anything that make me look like a bad employee.
Until my energy runs out of course. Then I usually still force myself to keep working, but everything goes at a glacial pace and my tiredness just accumulates even further.
As someone else suggested, I do also reccommend exercise, as counter intuitive as it may seem. What hours are you working? Morning shifts can be a bit harder to recover from if you dont find some way to get yourself out of the slump. I used to give myself an hour in front of the tv back when I worked mornings, then force myself to do some housework which would often jolt me back to life by breaking up the day. When I work later shifts, I try to claim as much of my morning for myself as I can, be it chores or exercise, so when I get home, if I have energy left for hobbies then that is a bonus, but I stay strict on my bedtimes so I can keep getting the mornings
Usually I work pretty regular hours 9-5/6. I find it difficult to cope with the fact that so many hours in a day are dedicated to working for somebody else, so i find it even harder to spend more time on maintenance activities to compensate for the fact that I’m working all day.
I’m really impressed by people that go to the gym early morning or straight after work.
Currently not working though. So I could easily fit in some exercise, but keeping the routine after going back to work is always the difficult part.
I often go to the gym straight after work. It sure as heck helps that I mostly go to classes, many of which I have book a spot in. Often I book even if it wont be full just to have already made the commitment. Many of my classes are also timed such that I can get off the bus from work and just head over or that I can get home and do ONE chore.
Then it has become a routine and now it is part of my after work routine. Bonus of going to classes is that you can get some light socializing in.
I probably should try doing this.
But the cost of gym classes kinda scares me off. Especially at this moment when I’m not really earning any income.
Definitely feels like it would be easier to join a class than follow my own training plan though. And having some other people to motivate you sounds great.
Based on some of your other comments, it would be interesting if you logged your blood pressure and pulse throughout the day. Once in the morning, before/after meals, evening, and whatever times seem like they may be relevant.
I got a simple automatic cuff type from the grocery store. They make some that can do it on your wrist too, which is a little easier to carry around. Mine has a history function. Smart watches/trackers can monitor your pulse more often.
Check your blood work. I get all the details in MyChart (Epic) and can even compare from previous results. If there isn’t an app, get your records and input it manually in a spreadsheet or other app that hopefully doesn’t harvest your data. If they are not doing regular blood work a couple times a year, they are doing you a disservice.
How is your sleep? You may not be sleeping as well as you think. This is priority 1. Wash your sheets. Clean sheets are awesome.
You could be depressed or have an undiagnosed mental illness. This is ok, but you have to talk to someone. It is hard as hell to make that phone call, but your mental health is worth it. Your mental health is worth everything. I did not check if you were female, but note that birth control can cause this shit. Hormones suck.
I think you said you were in pain or discomfort? If you are, take notes on the type of pain, where, how often, duration and anything you were doing. By the time I get to the doctor, I often can’t visualize or remember the exact sensation. You could easily have something in your environment bothering you, a food allergy, gall bladder issues, thyroid, or a whole host of random shit. Switch to fragrance free laundry detergent. Maybe cut out caffeine. Just be sure to only change one thing at a time.
Don’t let doctors gaslight you or downplay your issues. Advocate for yourself and take notes. You can even have a friend go with you to the doctor if you have a lot of anxiety. They can take notes for you and potentially give insights and ask questions you may not think of.
This. Especially looking at the quality of your sleep (poor sleep can trigger or exacerbate depression). There is a high prevalence of sleep-related issues in the autistic community. If you haven’t had a sleep study done, I recommend doing it (it’s uncomfortable and not a good night’s sleep, but it will help identify issues such as sleep apnoea or restless leg syndrome).
Also go through all the typical sleep hygiene stuff (I know it can be annoying and tedious, but these factors can play a bigger role in autism than for neurotypicals due to sensory issues) such as temperature, noise and light. Are your pillow and mattress comfortable and providing the support you need, or are you tossing and turning, or waking up sore or uncomfortable?
