138 points
*

I’m an alpha male: barely able to keep myself running and likely to completely break down if I encounter something I’m not prepared to deal with.

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62 points

I’m a Google Beta.

I am effectively immortal, but I will probably someday disappear without notice.

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22 points

Don’t worry, your features “will be incorporated in future releases of our latest chat client and our Gmail.”

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14 points

I was stable release several years ago. Now I have security issues but some folks still think I’m awesome.

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10 points

Just try not to leave the few remaining people who depend on you, up shit creek. Get a will.

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9 points

They’ll leave a promise that other people will fill the roles they used to without any current plan to do so.

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17 points

Damn, too early of a release eh?

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9 points

And not suitable for public release, obviously

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8 points

I also have a memory leak.

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4 points

Limited release to the world.

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118 points

It makes more sense when we assume it’s software development terminology instead. Alpha means the software is immature and full of issues.

I am a release candidate male.

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58 points

Hello ladies, I’m legacy code nobody wants to refactor and is being slowly converted into microservices.

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28 points

I’m just a beta male… they doubt I’m ready for release… but I’m far more stable than any alpha male.

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19 points

What’s the difference between beta and release candidate?

EA doesn’t know either.

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15 points

I too am a release candidate, but my marketing sucks.

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13 points

I am a minimum viable product male

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9 points

I’m barely a proof of concept then. Or minimum viable product. 🙃

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9 points
*

I’m an old version male. I’m out of date but stable and used by people who generally know what they’re doing and don’t want something new that’ll likely blow up in their face.

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I’m Concord. Only out for a week and then swept under the rug like I never existed.

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6 points

I am about v4.1 right now

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5 points

Well, I am a god damn mess as a person. So I’m like pre-alpha. I guess that makes me a proof of concept, or maybe even a thought exercise.

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3 points

I think of myself as code-complete but not necessarily bug-free.

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98 points

Imagine if phrenology caught on as the latest pop-culture dipshit trend.

“My bumpy skull means I’m preternaturally predisposed to be polygamous and misogynist, and I’m just looking for a girl who has a compatible set of head bumps.”

“If you can’t handle me at my alimentivenest, you don’t deserve me at my inhabitivenest.”

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42 points

Clearly you’ve stayed away from 4chan and I commend you for it.

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25 points

Isn’t that just sparkling racism?

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12 points

so I was in the UK’s largest chain bookstore (Waterstones) on Saturday and I found a phrenology cat

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12 points

That’s the cutest pseudoscience I’ve ever seen.

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7 points

2dolychocephalic4me

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3 points

Between RFK, Leon, and Trump the odds are pretty good of it coming back b

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2 points

if our heads don’t slot together like lego pieces the relationship isn’t going to work out

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69 points
  1. languages evolve, and the origin is nothing more than a curio today. People use the term “alpha” to mean a thing that exists in humans, even if it never did in wolves.
  2. this thing is called by the rest of the population “being and asshole” and as such i find the self identification of those people very usefull and time saving.
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30 points
*

Shut the fuck up, omega

No /s come at me mods

(Not really though)

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16 points

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8 points

Guys, can’t we all just get along. You’re upsetting the Gammas.

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4 points

I’m Zeta Maxx

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7 points

Hhyeah yes Daddy Alpha, I’ll be quiet for you UwU~

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1 point

Does it exist in humans, though? I’m fairly certain that it remains pseudoscientific in humans as well as wolves.

Oh, wait, I read point two. I stand corrected.

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64 points

To be more precise, Shenkel’s work was discredited by the collective efforts of numerous scientists studying wolf behaviour. Probably the most notable of these was David Mech. His book “The Wolf” was based on Shenkel’s work, and his own research on wolves in captivity, and was really the work that popularized the “alpha” nonsense in the public mind.

After numerous studies of wolves in the wild failed to bear out these conclusions, Mech later concluded that his work was wrong, and got The Wolf removed from publication.

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12 points

Either you or OP wrote Schenkel wrong.

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10 points

OP is correct

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