Even if it wasn’t so much “manipulative”.
I manipulated a whole family to care for me for a bit under 20 years. I believe people call such act “being born”
Jokes aside, that I can think of, getting my ex to ok an open relationship. Ironically, I didn’t go out with any other girls in the meantime.
When I was 20, I started hanging out with a girl who lived in my dorm. We made out and went down to bottom underwear, but never really went far, because she wanted to be sure I wasn’t just after sex. This was because a month break was coming up.
During the break I chatted with her on AIM every day, while I was fucking a girl I went to high school with regularly. I never told her. After the break we started fucking and then I dumped her after a couple months to find a new girl. I was a ravenous asshole.
My karma is here now, because my mental health issues are finally treated, my libido is near zero due to aging and medication.
Back when I was preparing to propose to my now-fiancee, she figured out very fast exactly where and how I planned on proposing. I didn’t want to change my plans, so I lied my ass off for the next month to convince her that
- There was no way that I could propose on that date because the ring was still in Canada/Michigan/Guam/Pennsylvania/Kansas/Indiana/etc.
- Even if I did, I can’t do it where I wanted to because she’s expecting it now and I am adamant that she be surprised
Kept all my plans the same, had the ring the whole time, everything went according to plan. She was completely suprised!
That said, the stress of keeping a secret for so long apparently wore my immune system down. An hour after putting my ring on her finger, I was suddenly nauseous, exhausted, a bit dizzy, and running a high fever. So now she has extra proof that I will never lie to her.
My wife knew I was going to propose because we went ring shopping together. However, she didn’t know when the ring was to be delivered and so didn’t know my plans. The night I did propose, I took her to a fancyish restaurant; she told me later that she was trying to figure out where I was carrying the ring.
I wasn’t, though. Before taking her to the restaurant, I had consulted a mutual, female friend who said that my wife would be expecting it and I should propose when we got home.
I did so, but before I did, she went upstairs. In my nervousness and excitement, I was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, ring in hand, and failed to notice that she was carrying a stack of laundry as she descended.
And that’s how I proposed to my wife while she was holding a pile of dirty underwear.
edit: I hate it when my client decides to post half a comment without consulting me.
I work in web dev and one of my jobs is to get you to engage more.
Maybe it’s buy more products.
Maybe it’s read more content.
Maybe it’s click on the button.
Maybe it’s like and subscribe.
Sometimes I do it with good UI. Sometimes I do it with dark patterns. Sometimes I do it by not allowing you to opt out.
I also get data to increase that number based on human behavior.
The worst part – im one of millions of people and companies who are doing this. We are all wanting your attention.
Not the most manipulative but
Keep a log of the birthdays, hobbies and names of spouses and children of colleagues, managers, team members and customers.
I learnt this from a guy who did executive search. People remember you, when you remember what is important to them.
When I’ve lead teams it’s one of the first things I find out - note down when someone says “yeah Gary that’s my hubby, he’s super into gaming”
- Gary (husband.)
- likes gaming
When you’re a manager, your teams families, partners and friends know your name. Reciprocating that - learning who is important to them - is really important.
To me this seems less like manipulation and more like you put in the effort to not only be a good boss, but a real person.
If you care you’re a good person. If you pretend to care in order to network then you’re being mildly manipulative.
Bingo. I think that’s the key to it - if you do it with the intent of getting something from someone, people will work that out pretty quickly and resent it. It comes over as being…greasy.
If it’s done from the perspective of having genuine interest, care and empathy it makes it easier to work as a group.
Has this ever backfired on you? While your motive is wholesome, I could see the practice itself seeming creepy. Like keeping notes of someone else’s life.
Yep. There’s people that want to keep distance at work and don’t appreciate it. Just have to respect that and leave them to it.
Yep. There’s people that want to keep distance at work and don’t appreciate it. Just have to respect that and leave them to it.
- Jane (wife.)
- likes the pool cleaner boy and has been sleeping with him behind her husband’s back for 8 months.
Some people just don’t like to have their hobbies shared.
