Oh hey, I have something for this.
From experience, ‘making it somebody else’s problem’ by asking for help, rarely ends well or gets you the help you need. It just makes you an annoyance and look bad, and eventually people (healthcare workers included) decide you’re malingering and/or attention seeking and start treating you even worse.
Isn’t life fun.
I wish so many comments on this post didn’t support what you’re saying. And the guy in the comic isn’t even asking for help, just showing that he’s suffering.
The comic character is doing it “right” by not making it the other guy’s problem.
Part of the problem is that there’s a gray area on this discussion and easy to find yourself on either side.
On the one side, “my hand has been crushed and I need immediate medical attention” is something other people need to respect. And “I can’t help you with both hands because one of them is crushed” is something other people need to respect. And “my chronic hand pain makes me grumpy”, too.
On the other, if you’re not talking to a doctor or asking for help getting to a doctor, starting every conversation with “My hand hurts” begs the question “what do you want me to do about it?” And if every request to socialize is met with “Can’t do anything hand hurts”, eventually you stop getting calls.
So what’s the fair middle ground? Hard to say and varies heavily by audience. But people do love to paint on the extreme ends without addressing the mushy middle.
By “guy in the comic” I meant the original comic I posted. The one you posted comes off as mean to me. It’s great that “not great” guy isn’t doing badly enough that he feels the need to talk about his problems and he even acknowledges that he’s considering the other guy’s feelings, while the other guy comes off as, “Phew, I was just making small talk and don’t actually care how you’re doing.”
Dude should maybe consider seeing a doctor about his “hand”.
This is about others not taking depression seriously. The difficulty in getting treatment is another matter.
Thats why they put hand in quotes… it was sarcasm implying that the character needs to see a doctor about his depression
I was sad once and then I realized that I can control my emotions and decided not to be sad.
Any time I’m having strong feelings, simply turn off my emotions and become an automaton that exists to serve others.
My bosses love it. I’m going straight to the top. And once I’m finally in charge, I’ll be free to dump all my emotional baggage on my underlings while insisting they need to toughen up.
The others would probably take his problem a lot more seriously if he had at least tried to get it fixed. If you are going to walk around with a mangled blood gushing hand for a prolonged period of time, without seeking help, then you should probably stop whining about it, because I can’t do anything for you. I can’t force you to go to a doctor.
A lot of these comments are really proving the point of the comic. Nowhere does it say that anybody took his ailment seriously, yet it’s the victim who’s at fault.
If you are going to walk around with a mangled blood gushing hand for a prolonged period of time, without seeking help
Some wounds don’t heal.
Goddamn, way to make me flashback.
There was a point in my life where I was facing homelessness, was constantly job searching but hearing nothing back, and had to count coins to make sure I could afford to eat each day. Not only that, but the closest family member, who had invited me to stay with them if things went tits up, had just died two days before in a sudden and tragic way.
And my then-bf dragged me to a bar, where he and all his friends told me to “just let it go” and “loosen up” as if the basement rock of my world hadn’t just eroded out from under me. I sure as shit couldn’t afford bar prices, and not a single one of the group offered to get me anything, leaving me stone sober while they all got shitfaced. I ended up crying alone in the bathroom for an hour, and when I came back out, “bf” was getting a fucking lap dance from his friend’s fiancee.
That wasn’t even the worst part of the night. It definitely got darker before the light returned.
I’m okay now, over a decade later, in an infinitely-better place with supportive friends and partners. But man, what a journey.
“I can’t, because of my hand. My hand hurts so much. Life sucks because of this hand.”
“You should go to a doctor to show your hand”
“No! It won’t help anything! And it costs money. And I don’t know how to or want to anyway.”
I’ve seen that too, where the person doesn’t want to actually even try to help themselves.
And when the doctor decides you’re an attention seeking malingerer and refuses to help, what then?
If it is the first doctor to say that, I’d seek another opinion. If it’s the second or third, well maybe…
Let me guess, you’re a man? A most likely white, cis and straight, man.
How am I doing?
Which of course is a symptom.
“My leg is broken” “Then walk to the hospital, duh” “I can’t, my leg is broken” “Why are you choosing to live in pain?!”
“Well you could call a taxi”
“I don’t know how to besides it costs money and time…”
“Well fine, I could drive you”
“No I got other stuff to do.”
“Just give me a time and I’ll do it”
“I don’t know when ugh…”
At that point people will just stop trying since it’s always the same wall.
But they saw it was a serious matter and tried. The people in the comic haven’t even reached that point yet.
Notice how the “friends” are completely dismissive of the hand? If they actually thought it was cause for concern, that would be an improvement.
We don’t know how long this has been going on. If it’s been years and years of this, I get it.
If encouraging him to see a doctor were something they were doing, the comic would have shown that.
Is this some kind of metaphor?