A vision of a future for America where everyone’s included, everyone’s represented, and everyone can join hands in friendship as one? Now that’s Thinking Outside the Bun™.
Unironically shit posts like this is the stuff I think using ai is useful for.
Sigh… I had to do it:
[Title: “A Taco for the Ages” - Taco Bell Ad Script]
Opening Scene:
(Historical figures sit around a modern Taco Bell table, a mix of respectful lighting and serene ambiance, bridging time and culture.)
Voiceover: “Throughout history, great minds have gathered to inspire change, to push the boundaries of justice, to create a better future for us all. And today, they come together to experience something else transformative: the Doritos Locos Taco.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (taking his first bite): “Now, this is a taste of something different. Injustice anywhere may be a threat to justice everywhere, but flavor everywhere—now, that’s a cause I can support. It reminds me that small acts of joy are powerful. They bring people together.”
Rosa Parks (smiling as she tries a bite): “You know, I took a seat once that changed things, and I’d do it again right here for this taco. The right to flavor, the right to joy—those are things worth standing up for, too.”
Mahatma Gandhi (pausing, contemplative after taking a bite): “This is simple, yet bold. It speaks to the spirit of creativity and humble beginnings, and to the power of something new to unite us. A peaceful flavor revolution, indeed.”
Cesar Chavez (nodding): “This brings people to the table, just like we did in the fields. Fairness and respect, community and flavor—together, they remind us of what we’re fighting for.”
Malala Yousafzai (smiling, takes a bite): “It’s amazing how one bite can change your whole view of what’s possible. A taco that breaks boundaries—it’s a reminder that change is everywhere, even in what we choose to share with each other.”
Voiceover: “Some ideas are more than just flavor; they’re a celebration of what we can achieve together. At Taco Bell, we’re proud to serve moments of joy, community, and connection, one Doritos Locos Taco at a time.”
Screen fades to black, Taco Bell logo appears.
Voiceover: “Taco Bell: Feeding your desire for flavor, community, and change.”
I tried the same thing, but this time with US presidents and Mountain Dew Baja Blast:
Introducing Mountain Dew Baja Blast: A Taste That Brings Us Together
Scene opens with a roundtable of U.S. Presidents from across the political spectrum—each standing in front of a Mountain Dew Baja Blast can.
George Washington (standing tall, holding a Baja Blast):
“In my day, we were forming a new nation. We believed in liberty, but perhaps we were a little too focused on tea. This… this is a drink that captures the spirit of adventure and new frontiers. It’s bold, it’s refreshing, and it reminds us that change can be just as sweet as the past.”
Abraham Lincoln (nodding thoughtfully):
“It’s important to recognize the power of unity, and how something as simple as a new taste can bring people together. We faced division in my time, but in the end, we knew that compromise and understanding were essential. Baja Blast—its bold flavor, its ability to stand out—reminds us of what it means to embrace difference without fear.”
Theodore Roosevelt (slaps his hand on the table with enthusiasm):
“By all means! This drink, like the spirit of America itself, is robust and unafraid! We stand at the helm of progress, and Baja Blast is a symbol of that energetic, forward-thinking attitude! If you don’t like it, get out of the way!”
Franklin D. Roosevelt (smiling as he takes a sip):
“During times of uncertainty, we often turn to new ideas and innovations to push us forward. Baja Blast is a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there’s always a spark of hope—something new and refreshing to lift our spirits. It’s a taste of the future, rooted in progress.”
Ronald Reagan (grinning, holding a can aloft):
“Well, folks, this Baja Blast sure is a taste of optimism. It’s got that sweet, tangy flavor that makes you want to believe in the American dream. It’s a drink that doesn’t apologize for being bold. In my day, we called that American exceptionalism—and this, my friends, is exceptional.”
Bill Clinton (chuckling):
“I have to admit, I didn’t expect a drink to taste quite like this. It’s complex, refreshing, and just the right amount of zing. It’s got that little bit of unexpected, just like life in politics. Whether you’re from the left or the right, sometimes you just need something that makes you smile.”
Barack Obama (sipping carefully, then smiling):
“What I like about Baja Blast is that it’s a blend of the familiar and the new. We all know what it’s like to face change, to navigate uncharted waters, but with balance and perspective, we can build something truly special. It’s a reminder that our differences don’t have to divide us—they can inspire something unique, something refreshing.”
Donald Trump (holding up the can):
“Let me tell you something—this drink is huge. It’s a winner, believe me. People will love it. It’s got a taste you can’t ignore, just like the Trump administration. This drink stands out. Baja Blast knows how to get attention, and that’s what we need more of. It’s the kind of boldness America thrives on.”
Joe Biden (laughing warmly):
“This Baja Blast? I like it. It’s about bringing people together, having a good time, and remembering the little things that make us happy. It’s like a family BBQ—simple, but memorable. And we could all use a little more of that, don’t you think?”
The scene zooms out, showing all the presidents sharing a toast.
Narrator (in a deep, reflective tone):
“No matter where you stand in the history of America, there’s one thing we can all agree on—sometimes, the best moments happen when we come together to enjoy something new. Mountain Dew Baja Blast. A taste that’s as bold as America itself.”
The screen fades to the Baja Blast logo.
Cliffhanger… What did they say???
Like, seriously… I prepped for lasers and metal skeletons, dafuq am I supposed to do with this kind of AI apocalypse?
