OP must really concern his mother if she poses such basic morality questions to check his response
I think she was checking to see if he thought females probably deserved it. There’s a bunch of young dudes falling down that particular hole right now.
It’s good to read the greentext so you can have an opinion on the opinions expressed about the opinions within the greentext.
That’s just a superficial reading of the news.
But there’s another level. Why did the dentist kill his wife? Was it some chemical dentists use that needs to be forbidden or at least regulated? Was it a mental health issue that points to failings in the healthcare system? Was it a problem with how he was a raised as a child that can be used to inform education policies? Can the dentist be redeemed or should he just be punished?
And on an even deeper level, should we as a society even care and intervene or should we move to a sociopathic mindset of embracing full individual responsibility and no collective responsibility at all?
should he just be punished?
How sad that people would want to punish someone who doesn’t even know what they’ve done wrong. I like to believe we have prisons to safely keep people who cannot live around others without significantly hurting them, not to punish them.
Punishment really doesn’t work, it’s literally a coin toss as to whether someone will reoffend.
Norway had high rates of recidivism decades ago and pivoted to a rehabilitation approach and has one of the lowest recidivism rates.
I find that people that can’t let go of punishment don’t care about victims and the aim of a justice system should be to limit the number of victims of crime, by whatever means.
People in Norwegian prisons have access to knives and have less stabbings than the USA where you can’t have knives in prison.
Punishment is about virtue signalling. The point is to be socially seen to oppose immoral behaviour through violence. It’s about affirming your social status as a good person.
ok ok ok, i have a theory on where her head was at.
i think it might have been about current messaging around “stop teaching girls is their job to avoid being sexually assaulted and start teaching boys that it’s not ok to do”.
I think in all honestly part of the reason we ended up in this paradigm is because parents generally try to teach what they know. for the most part, in the past men weren’t really aware of how common rape was, or didn’t care. men probably didn’t see it as a thing to talk to their girls about. it was also something they likely had no relevant experience in teaching about. so men didn’t see it a important to teach anything about it to girls. and it didn’t seem likely to negatively affect their son… women on the other hand clearly saw the need to prepare young girls for this reality. so they teach what they know. what little that can do from their perspective with their power. moms default to imparting the defense mechanisms they have built to survive in this terrible state of affairs.
so, my thought is that this is a mother trying to teach her son not to be a predator. but she doesn’t even know what predators think to make them do that. she has no idea what to say that might make her son not do something that she doesn’t understand and doesn’t know if her son has or ever will feel those things. it’s a hard problem. it’s easy to say that we need to put the onus on men to not be predators, but how do we turn that into reality without sounding like this? what does a parent actually say to a young boy that will carry more weight than “don’t do that”.
I suspect you empathize with him and encourage him to empathize with people regardless of gender. Aiming to raise an adult who happens to be a man rather than a man who happens to be an adult. As well as teaching emotional regulation
again, easy to say, hard to do.
what does that actually look like moment to moment? what do people do differently between those that do and those that don’t succeed in this? how can you teach something you don’t know because no one taught you?
what does an empathy lesson look like?
it’s a hard problem and we really do need to figure out some specifics if we want to make any real progress.
WTF… Translating news stories which parent and child can discuss honestly (and if not… Well, discuss them honestly. That’s the point of the post) into issues to be separate on… Is, well, just the point we are all trying to avoid.
I hope you can discuss points like this open and honestly. (Yes, even killing and death. The deaths are less important than the communication about them you are forging.)
I laughed harder because my mom pulls nonsense like this from time to time but we just tell her and laugh like “wtf is this question? are you high?” It’s usually very funny
edit: I think it’s a brain fart that they say out lout