174 points

I’ve been saying this for a while. The real malicious actors are right there in the open, telling you what they’re doing. I think people gravitate toward the clearly fake conspiracies because it helps soothe their conscience - clearly their guy is Different, you don’t even have to think about it, right?

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53 points
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If someone falsely accuses you of anything, assume they did that first. Investigate the accuser.

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7 points

Like when someone farts in a conservative household, for all you conservative readers

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30 points

It’s wild how long the Republicans have been plainly stating what their goals are, and people keep looking for alternative, easier to accept explanations.

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11 points
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It’s still crazy to me how much of the bad shit the government has done has been declassified and publicly available and people still just kind of ignore it. Who needs censorship when people are just willing to overlook reality? Or even worse, just make up nonsense.

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5 points
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There’s also a feeling of “knowing” more than other people. You don’t know about how Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla invented a time traveling aircraft carrier? Have I got some research that you need to do on your own. But if you did know about it, then it’s junk meant to distract you from what’s really going on.

None of that “knowledge” derives from any level of credible sources, but it does bring a certain level of superiority over people on Facebook. If it’s actually well documented and widely known, then that isn’t something where I get to feel better than other people.

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140 points

Conspiracy theorists are only interested in the idea of a conspiracy, and lose focus when the conspiracy is found to be true.

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51 points

I have concepts of a conspiracy.

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11 points

That’s were all that sweet, sweet serotonin is.

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1 point
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I have a direct example of this:

I was at the UFO museum in Roswell, NM and the guy that was giving a talk was a self-described Ufologist and this was after the government released the UFO footage. He talked the whole time about government coverup of past UFO crashes, etc.

In the Q&A, someone asked if the recent footage gave him hope that we’ll begin to learn more about UFOs now that the government seems more forthright with the information… And he got pissed at them for even asking. It was as if his whole retirement activity of uncovering conspiracies was challenged and his brain couldn’t handle it except by getting angry at an honest question.

His conspiracy seemed to be more boring than he thought (and spent decades “researching”) so he wouldn’t allow the truth to shatter it. It was fascinating to see in real-time.

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45 points
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One statement that always works with republicans: Every accusation is an admission.

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1 point

I think you accidentally words

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12 points

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70 points

This is not a conspiracy theory. It’s a conspiracy observation.

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The Theorying is half the fun

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5 points

Yeah, well. That’s just, like, your theory, man.

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6 points

It’s like that Simpsons episode where Homer joins the group to find out what happened to I think a turtle that went missing. When they found out the truth, they got upset because they couldn’t theorize crazy shit anymore.

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9 points
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Well, it’s only a bad thing, if the others are doing it. Didn’t you know?

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