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I feel terrible because I didn’t buy even a card for my wife’s birthday. I just took her to her mother’s house. This was two weeks ago. I am still baffled why I didn’t buy flowers or something. My wife isn’t demanding at all.
On Tuesday I had a panic attack when I got in to work at 9am. It didn’t last long, only about 15-20 minutes, but I still don’t feel quite right even now. That’s usually the case with my panic attacks, it takes a while for me to reset afterwards. Sometimes weeks.
Right now I have this tense feeling in my head, which causes my jaw to tighten up and get an impulsive twitch. Usually seems to happen when I’m feeling anxiety. I have an urge to chew on something soft.
Bored. I’m out on my anniversary tradition, which is going apple picking… Except my other half immediately rolled out the picnic blanket and has been sleeping on me for the past hour.
It’s sad to think of how the dynamics have changed over the past 10 years between us. It’s almost like the brain hamster wheels have all fallen apart and what’s left are only the most basic of human functions. It’s days like today I wish my country had any kind of worthwhile mental health care.
It seem incredibly unlikely anymore. Schizophrenia is a hell of a thing and getting the appropriate amount of support for anything like this that has a spectrum of severity is absolutely not possible. Besides the professional help my other half doesn’t seem very interested in improving their situation at all.
Much better than the pervious couple weeks. It’s refreshing! Depression sucks.
i just want to fucking die die die die die die die die die die die FUCKING DIE ALREADYYYYHSHSUDJEJJSJDKF
I failed college, which lead to me losing my job. I also lost my car. To top it all off, my girlfriend of 3 years left me while we were 10,000km away from home. Every single thing reminds me of her. I haven’t had the strength to shower in a week. I wish I had a car so i can drive into a concrete block at 200km/h and obliterate my worthless body. I love her so much.
