My aunt found out last week she has bowel cancer and I’m super worried. The gastroenterologist thinks surgery should fix things, so here’s hoping, but she’s like my mom so I’m scared.
A lot of minor things:
We’re starting a grpup project in uni this year. 3/8 team members met, 1 couldn’t be there, 2 we found online but didn’t get a response from. The other 2 are a mystery. A large chunk of our grade depends on picking our favourite one of 48 projects, which we can’t do cuz we don’t know half the team, and their interests and skillset. Also, I’m feeling massive impostor syndrome. I wasn’t too serious last year, so now I feel like I don’t know anything (I know quite a bit but not nearly to the level I’d be expected to, in any relevant area).
I’m still having a hard time socialising. Last year, I didn’t do any going out or socialising, even though I was in the perfect environment for it, with flatmates that were going out. This year, flatmates are older, and they’re either in relationships, or just too focused on studying, or they just don’t want to go clubbing necessarily. I have high libido (teen hormones, what can you do) so I want to find a girl but it’s just not going to happen if I don’t go out (and dating apps produced no results so far, I’ve been on them for a year). So what’s the solution? Going out by myself, and looking like a lone weirdo, making approaching girls (did mention I have 0 experience with this) even more difficult?
My flat is a slight upgrade in some areas, and an annoying downgrade in others. It’s an upgrade in storage space within my room. The wardrobe and drawers are more spacious, to the point where I could properly fit all my clothes and didn’t have to think of what to stash under the bed. BUT the drawers were built by a maniac, who left them looking like they were taken straight out of a wacky animation, or something like Hello Neighbour, one goes left and down, the other goes right and down, the remaining is right and up, and they all conflict each other and I have to lift one up to open the other. Also, the extra space in my room has been traded for virtually no space in the kitchen. One and a half cupboards for all my stuff and barely a fridge shelf? At least I got a full freezer shelf.
Also, the sudden onset of a sore throat for seemingly no reason a few hours ago has left me slightly concerned. It may or may not be combined with a slightly stuffy nose.
I’m still trying and failing to get off social media, to get myself to do the right thing immediately, instead of just spending a bunch of time dealing with other stuff, or musing on whether this is the right thing, whether it’s the most efficient way, etc. cuz it’s a waste of time.
And I still can’t fix my sleep schedule. But that’s mainly a lack of discipline and the presence of procrastination.
My partner stresses too much with work and I wish I could help more. But all I can do is give comfort and urge to at least let things go when at home.
Any practical advice is always brushed off, which I can understand. Sometimes you just need to vent and I don’t mind listening about what happened this time. I just hate seeing them like this, it does make me worry a bit about their health.
I keep noticing more and more of Chumbawamba’s discography being greyed out on Spotify but no one else seems to and I can’t find an announcement or anything
My mom won’t stop continually trying to cure her type 1 diabetes with every conceivable bullshit product known to mankind, assured by God and stubbornness that it can be done. Most of it, she hides from her doctor.
This week it’s mushroom coffee. Last month it was CBD pills. Usually always from Facebook ads. I give her a lecture every time. She ignores it every time. It’s basically all she spends he money on and you can’t tell her not to. Sometimes it isn’t even an online product and I’ll find every salt container in the trash can.
we don’t eat salt anymore, it’s the problem
Then I have to wrestle all of it back out, explain the history of cooking from 2000 years to now and why is important then ask who on earth told her that.
Every. Single. Week and she falls for it every single time. Ugh.
