101 points

Embrace the power move.

permalink
report
reply
29 points

The only correct answer, walk in proud with the head up.

permalink
report
parent
reply

Donā€™t you mean ass up?

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Only if you plan to ass-ert dominance

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Only if you want an A

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Exactly, you not have the upper hand. The only thing that could defeat you would be ass pennies.

permalink
report
parent
reply
69 points

A fart that serious wouldnā€™t seem real, and that goes double if it appears that you unmuted specifically to make the noise. Just tell people it was a soundboard.

permalink
report
reply
36 points

And now youā€™re the person who has a massive fart on a soundboard, and you decided to randomly unmute yourself to show it off?

permalink
report
parent
reply
37 points

Thats exactly the kind of person we want to be. The soundboard guy, thatā€™s one step away from radio talk show host.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

You never know, this could have been a class about finance. Jim Cramer got disgustingly far using a soundboard. Also by grifting investors with his hedge fund, but mostly the soundboard.

permalink
report
parent
reply
20 points

Youā€™d rather be the person who decided to randomly unmute to share your actual factual filthy self? At least a soundboard is just a poorly judged joke (that actually landed, if the teacher laughed). Or you can be a fart pervert.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Everyone can respect an actual monstrous fart.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

I have two on my sound board, but you do you

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

No. You own that shit, pun very much intended

permalink
report
parent
reply
36 points

Follow it up with

Thanks, Taco Bell

And lean into Taco Bell being your new nickname. Easy.

permalink
report
reply
10 points

I see this going one of two ways; free Taco Bell, or getting pelted with sauce packets

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points
*

ā€œFree Taco Bellā€ is the name of the GoFundMe for your legal defense because you got arrested for protesting the war after class

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Or free taco bell while getting pelted with sauce packets. Which might be even better if thatā€™s their kink šŸ¤·

permalink
report
parent
reply
34 points

Just pop a ā€œšŸ˜Žā€ in the chat. No further elaboration required.

permalink
report
reply
1 point

This is the right answer

permalink
report
parent
reply
21 points
*

ā€œHEY GUYS! DID YOU HEAR THAT EPIC FART I MADE? NEARLY SHAT MY PANTS!ā€

* everyone laughs and forgets about it*

permalink
report
reply
19 points

Honestly the teacher laughing was enough, literally no one is going to give a fuck after that.

People need to realize that they are not the main character, if you want something embarrassing you did to go away just donā€™t bring it up. People arenā€™t jotting down notes to bring up later, they have full lives of their own, no one in college has time to commit this to memory any more than a funny anecdote and they wonā€™t bother to remember who did it.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points
*

Counterpoint: I still vividly remember a guy ripping a fart in class more than 20 years ago. Maybe because weā€™ve been writing a test and, up until that point, the classroom had been deadly silent before bursting into laughter.
Or maybe because he did it again, a couple of days later.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Oh for sure, I remember anecdotes like that too, but unless the person is still a friend Iā€™m not going to remember who exactly did it.

But that could be a me thing, my wife always tells me Iā€™m bad at remembering details

permalink
report
parent
reply

Greentext

!greentext@sh.itjust.works

Create post

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If youā€™re new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

  • Anon is often crazy.
  • Anon is often depressed.
  • Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

Community stats

  • 6.9K

    Monthly active users

  • 974

    Posts

  • 23K

    Comments