Develop into your own beautiful human, first. A lot of dudes are mid at best; myself included
I’m a dude, and I agree.
that advice is completely valid for men too, hell, the amount of male friends that i have that are felling alone and think that getting a girlfriend gonna fix that, fuck that, and they fuck woman friendship because they “fall in love” with any woman that give them attention, and they still refuse to listen to me when i say to them to improve themselves that love gonna come naturally, it’s tiring, and i say that as a man who also sometimes feel alone and also mistaken attention with love, i just learned from advice that i read and i’m feeling a lot better, why, why they are such morons
It’s because societal norms don’t teach boys and men the proper way to deal with emotions. It’s more implied we will be fine or know how to deal with them, and generally not a lot of room for guys to explore them.
There’s also a push for guys to be competitive, achieve, etc. which conditions us to seek more of the positive emotions that come with ‘victory’. That thinking quickly can become an echo chamber inside your head, with all kinds of negative things associated with it; the least of which is ‘I am worthless unless I achieve’.
The world would be a much better place if guys were in tune with their inner feelings, knew how to deal with them, and weren’t terrified of being vulnerable around others. This also applies to women, but from my vantage point, to a lesser degree
Spot on. For years I had my self worth valued based on the women I was with/dating.
After a divorce and string of bad relationships/breakups, I realized the issue was, largely, because of me. I wasn’t focused and invested in myself enough to be comfortable without a partner in my life. Which made me desperate, and that comes across and attracted the wrong sort of women to me, as well as kept my self worth artificially low so I allowed myself to be abused by others in the relationships.
Spend time on yourself and being comfortable being alone. Be happy alone first. Then look for opportunities to meet people who can enhance your happiness, but not be the source of your happiness, if that makes any sense. That’s how good relationships work I finally learned.
Same for men. I definitely would’ve ended up in a better place if I hadn’t wasted my time chasing women & their attention & approval when I was in my 20s.
Well, women don’t say random shit at you on the streets, for example. I’m a man so I don’t have the fortune, but I’m sure there’s a lot more they have to deal with.
I think poster is just making it clear that in the context of this post (and life) women are subjected to strange men’s “advice” and are in fact pressured by street strangers to conform to male desire, a phenomenon men are not subjected to. You’re comment didnt explicitly diminish that fact, but i can see how someone reading it might feel the need to clarify the difference
Be your own main character
Same advice applies to dudes too TBH. We’d all be a lot better off if we figured our shit out before inflicting ourselves on each other and fucking us up even more.
Could really just remove the genders from what this person said and make it applicable to everyone. Young men should be doing the same thing.
Toxic femininity and masculinity both push the narrative of how young men need to constantly pursue women, and everything they do should be in pursuit of chasing pussy. How men should always be available to women when the time comes.
Grow for yourself.
Yes.
Men are miles behind on the self development front in a lot of cases though. Generational suppression of feelings and an inability to cope with them correctly has done us a massive disservice. Like a deer with chronic wasting disease, we stagger on, continuing to do the same thing, despite how tragically fucked up we are.
