11 points
He’s like “I’ma make this dude into a janitor so fast”
86 points
“Why did you join the Army?”
“Government didn’t like it when I killed people back home so I let them fly me out here and now I get little prizes for it.”
17 points
These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you’ll excuse me, they’re putting me in something called Hero Squad.
4 points
39 points
“have you ever done any drugs?” “oh yes, tons. Everything under the sun” “nothing? Not even Marijuana? Sober as a judge you are!”
6 points
Sorry I had my license revoked after the last incident. You’ll have to send a car.
10 points
why is Super Saiyan Goku Highspeed recruiting for the US