I have a wonderful senior dog and he’s my best friend. And I’m so scared of his aging. As he’s slowing down and I keep an eye out for medical issues I just can’t imagine how and when to make a call about his life.
I work all day away from home and live by myself, which was not the situation when I’d adopted him initially. I don’t have a community or friends or family around to help during the day if and when it comes to that. I can’t afford dog sitters especially not ones with training.
What if he could be fine with more support and money, should I give him back to animal rescue?
I’ve lost four senior pets in the last 3 years, all between 14 and 23 years old.
You make them as comfortable as possible for as long as you can, and you shower them with love and treats for as long as they live.
When you have to let them go, you stay with them until their last breath and you thank them for all the years they gave you.
Go home and bawl your eyes out. Grieve for as long as you have to.
But never, ever, ever give them up or give them away. They deserve better.
Been there. Christ, it was hard. But the vet team left us alone for the end. The best of the worst situation, so to speak.
Ten years later and I still tear up at the memory of it.
Knowing I have the same experience coming in the near future sucks. But it’s better than the alternative, I guess…
There’s a bit in one of the Expanse novels where one of the main characters is remembering a dog he’d lost as an adolescent. The dog laid down and one of his parents explained what was happening. He vowed to remain at it’s side until it’s last breath, but after three hours he was just bored.
That bit always stuck with me.
Do not give your senior pet to an animal rescue. I think the mental anguish they’d experience they’d suffer from feeling abandoned would hurt them so, so much.
Do your best. Talk to your vet and ask for guidance.
We all face this, eventually. It is hard to face that our cherished pet is aging, but it’s our duty to see them through.
My personal rule for eol and my pets is whether or not they can enjoy the things they used to. Can’t get into your window seat? Here are some stairs. Can’t go up the stairs to your window seat due to pain…I’m afraid we need to go for a ride soon.
Went through something similar with my 17 year old cat. They hide their suffering so well but I could tell at the end he wasn’t having a good quality of life. My elder parents he was living with couldn’t bring themselves to make the call so I made the tough but necessary decision to humanely release his spirit from the failing meat machinery. Rest in peace Boots and thanks for taking care of mom and dad for me.
I often see people post about things like that in my neighbourhood network.
Ask around in your neighborhood and on next door or a similar online community. Especially in cities there are lots of people around who love dogs, but can’t have one of their own. Some of them might be happy to spend some time with your dog during the day.
I actually did that for a while with a neighboring cat. Instead of hanging at home, I would just hang at their palce for a couple of hours in the afternoon to keep the cat company. This wasn’t pet sitting, just spending quality time with a pet that would otherwise be alone for the whole day.
I’ve had to make the call on senior pets about four times now, and it’s tough. Sometimes it’s easier, when they’re in visible and obvious pain and sometimes it’s hard, when there’s no one thing you can point to. The lovely home vet who helped my last senior kitty pass said it helps to keep track of the good days and bad days. If your pet is affectionate, playful, can get excited, that’s a good day. If they hide, lie in quiet places and aren’t interested in things they usually love then that’s a bad day. When the majority of their days are bad days, it’s time.
I wouldn’t think your dog would have better care in a shelter, even if you’re feeling guilty about being away a lot. Maybe there’s a way to shift your schedule to have more time with your dog when he’s most active, or maybe there’s a local kid who wouldn’t mind hanging out with your dog on certain days. It’s worth exploring more options because a shelter will almost certainly be a worse experience for him.
