Researchers at the University of Southampton in the UK successfully stored the entirety of the human genome sequence onto an indestructible 5D optical memory crystal no bigger than a penny. The indestructibility claims are no joke since the discs can withstand temperatures up to 1,000°C, cosmic radiation, and even direct impact forces of 10 tons per cm2.

15 points

1: “Please, destroy my datacrystal when I die. Like a true friend.” 2: “But dude…it’s indestructible…” 3: “I will destroy the crystal! I will take it to mount doom!” 2: “…And my axe.”

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6 points

1000°C aint that much, a blowtorch could easily reach that

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5 points

Still considerably better than blueray.

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19 points

Just enough space for a install of Windows and one AAA title game.

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9 points

COD developers are actively salivating at the thought!

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22 points

5 billion years from now some archeologist reconstructing the data found on a usb stick floating in the asteroid belt only to (gleefully) find out it was a porn stash they found.

Now we ofc all know this amazing find under it’s famous name ‘Rosetta Bone pizza delivery service’.

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14 points
*

Wow, Kryptonians were really ahead of the curve.

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4 points

And the goa’uld, and everyone on Babylon 5…

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59 points
*

Digitize all national history, literature, and culture. Put them on a hundred of these and distribute them all over the world. Refresh every 6 mos. Keep one on a server that all the kids can access.

Next time there’s war or whatever intolerant culture comes into power, and loots the museums, stops culture, or blows up statues, at least you’ve kept the history alive.

Think of it as the Library of Alexandria in horcrux form.

P.S. Important to include a user’s guide, reference schematics for the reader, and FAQs, etched into something semi-permanent alongside all the copies.

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17 points

Make sure it has friendly words on the front line Don’t Panic.

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3 points

Hey I just came here from another thread. Can we send someone back in time to invent Pokémon before Nintendo then sue them?

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9 points
*

Just shot them in all directions from the solar system into space, but also add ads so aliens know to ignore and avoid us.

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6 points

Do you like checking out Earth subcultures but don’t want to be identified as an alien and sent to Rwanda? You need Nord VPN.

Clash of Cows: the ultimate 3D mobile game where you can pit your abductees against those of other, less-benevolelant races. Win battles to earn points and abduct new cows, and research newer and greater evolutions for your herd.

Office 365.25. Put your data in the cloud. Next to your spaceship.

Your Microsoft computer has been infected!!! Call our hotline immediately to fix the issue!!

Looking for hot singles near you? Tired of binary systems? Check out Sol.

Had enough of ads? Upgrade to YouTube Premium.

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5 points
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“Fuck, why is my galactic supermassive DNS sinkhole not blocking these ads!??” - the frustrated alien

PSA: always update your supermassive-Pi-Holes

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1 point

So I’m imagining them as a legend based on unverified lore, conjecture, and conflicting information with no real evidence of them ever existing and I’m having a difficult time seeing where the value lies in that.

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5 points

If it’s anything like the similar optical data storage crystals, it’s write only.

They probably have no way to read these yet.

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3 points

WORN: Write Once Read Never.

Soon to be improved as,

WORLD: Write Once Read at Later Date.

It gets a bit harder to market if they’re not sure if they wrote successfully:

Write Hopefully Once Read Eventually

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3 points

How would they know they’ve written to it then?

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1 point

Cool question, don’t know, have fun figuring it out.

I just remember that was the case last time.

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1 point

If they could get VR programming on there, they could even replicate an immersive art exhibit experience. The Mona Lisa might get destroyed, but the VR experience of seeing it in person will at least live on.

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