Almost a decade ago, back when I got my first grown up job, a homeless person came up to me on my way back from lunch and asked if he could have some food. I told him sorry and kept walking. When I got back to my seat, I realized what I had done so I went back out to try to find the guy so I could buy him a meal. Couldn’t find him. Feel like shit every time I think about it.
We were going to a concert and my partner dressed fancier than I thought made sense. I made an offhand remark about just dress like every day and that made her feel bad. She just liked having an excuse to dress up and I accidentally (because it wasn’t my intent) robbed that from her. I felt super shitty about it. I won’t ever say anything like that again.
Not so much what I did as what I didn’t do. I was picking up a birthday cake for one of my kids and I was standing in line behind a lady who was obviously doing the same thing. Based on her appearance and the fact that she was fumbling through her wallet while on the phone with the bank, I got the sense that she was a little short on cash.
Something told me I should go ahead and pay for her cake. I could easily afford it so why not? For whatever reason I chickened out. I don’t know why.
I left there with my kids birthday cake, feeling very ashamed of myself. It was a small thing and yet to me it was a serious moral failure.
I just put myself in that scenario and had the thought “man, what if she’s flustered about something else, and having a rough day in general, then I go and swoop in and basically accuse her of being poor in public. She’d feel terrible and I will have made her day worse.”
You would have walked out of there feeling like shit in two of the three ways that could have gone. Don’t beat yourself up over it; clearly you’re empathetic and care about people. That tells me you DO act when it’s appropriate and you do want to be a positive force in this world. Congratulations! The world is better with you in it
I started dating someone and then realized pretty fast I didn’t like him that way.
The dude was already pretty depressed as a baseline, and I feel like giving him hope and then taking it away like that has dropped him pretty deep into negativity.
Ghosting someone (multiple really) when I just couldn’t handle all the things they expect me to do. It’s childish and very much my own mistake for not being clear with my boundary and overestimating my mental energy.
Slowly making it up one person to the next.
