Keir Starmer’s entire senior team forgot to wish him a happy birthday at their morning meeting in Downing Street, his spokesperson has admitted.

8 points

Who gives a flying fuck? Why is this “news”? Where were these “journalists” when the Tories were in power?

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7 points

You’d have thought that they’d all have staff to track such things even if just for sucking up to the boss.

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3 points

You’d think they would have “boss’ birthday” in their diaries, highlighted and with triple underlines.

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5 points

BREAKING NEWS! GUARDIAN EXCLUSIVE!

/s

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6 points

That team doesn’t look especially senior

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3 points

Senior school, of course!

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