Soul crushing.
Worked at a place for 16 years, made many close friends there, helped the company grow from a $2M company into a $2B company. Then one day they decided that it looked like they might not be add profitable in the coming quarter so they needed to cut 20% of the company. I was my family’s sole provider and now wasn’t sure how we were going to survive. I did get a nice severance of 6 months pay, but only 3 months of COBRA coverage. I was very fortunate to find a better paying job a little over 3 months later. Financially it was a good thing for us, but mentally I’m pretty fucked up now. I’ve never had anxiety issues but now I’m on 2 different medications for it. I’m depressed. I hate my new job and coworkers. I have no joy in work. I know if I get laid off again that I won’t get nearly as good of a severance package. I realize that my lifestyle only exists as long as my employer chooses to keep me employed. I feel like I not only have no safety net, but if I fall I take my family with me. It sucks.
I’ve been there. Posted my story, but I didn’t talk about the lifelong anxiety that comes with a lengthy layoff. Continually pursued higher pay at shittier jobs to try to get ahead of things for when the rug gets pulled out from under me again. It’s corrosive. Losing income and insurance when everyone is counting on you to provide makes you feel like your self-worth is completely tied to your job and ability to provide.
It is amazing that. You pour your life and soul into something, taking pride in seeing your work flourish… only for them to slap you in the face like that whilst making it clear that despite the “we’re a family, so please do your best” rhetoric, it does not extend both ways.
And for what? Because their share price wasn’t going up as much as they wanted, despite the company being profitable for decades? I’m sick of shareholders wants hollowing out the hard work that loyal employees generated for them
Same for me, but 13 years. No one mentions the shame and isolation. I felt like a disease that no one wanted to be around.
If I ran into any old colleagues, it was clear they pitied me. The ones that did stay in contact just wanted the “gossip” (there was none), or wanted confirmation that I was somehow to blame so they could be comforted in knowing it won’t happen to them.
I “didn’t do anything to deserve this”, but it’s hard not to take it personally. The ruminating – trying to understand “why me, and not someone else” – hasn’t stopped.
The betrayal and shame is overwhelming.
Your comment has made me understand this better than anything I’ve previously read has. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
One time, we were given six month’s wages plus a month’s wages for each year we had worked there (I had been there 12 years). The company paid for career counseling, resume training, self awareness (similar to Myers Briggs only it was useful), use of an office space and computers and printers to hunt for jobs.
Another time, we were told that our entire IT department wasn’t important enough to keep and our jobs had been outsourced to India. But they still wanted us to stay for four weeks and train our replacements. Bitch, if I’m not important enough to keep, then I’m not important enough to train anyone. I collected my stuff and walked out that day.
Weird angel investor took us all out to a fancy dinner and made a weird extensive speech about the importance of the future; kind of “Godspeed my young protégés I know you’ll do wonderful things.” Kind of sounded like he finally believed in us and wanted to let us know with a nice gesture. Idk. No one could make any sense of it.
The next day his lackey informed us we were all fired. Oooh, that’s what that was about; makes sense, oh well, we have to get real jobs now apparently.
Which time?
First time happened after I’d been with my first real job for ten years because the business was changing and there wasn’t a role for me. I was out of work for 7 shitty months trying to have my own business starting from the few customers we had left when they let me go. It was right after I bought a house and had a baby. It was fucking awful.
Second time was after COVID. First we all took a 10% pay cut to avoid layoffs. Then two months later when federal assistance expired, they cut 1/3 of the company across the board. I’m a little fucking bitter about that to be honest, but I had a new remote job lined up within a couple of weeks that paid quite a bit better.
Last time was 5 months ago. Just got hired this week. Start next month. It sucked. Wiped out my whole retirement savings, so I get to start over at 51. But we made it through and potentially I won’t have to switch companies again.
My partner was the only one holding her company together as operations manager. She got put on a HUGE project and promised two weeks vacation after, then laid off right before the vacation. Now the company is trying to make her sign a contract that forces her to give up her severance in exchange for four weeks of labor.
On the bright side, the professional relationships she built outside the company are paying off, and she has a dozen or so job leads
