For me, it may be that the toilet paper roll needs to have the open end away from the wall. I don’t want to reach under the roll to take a piece! That’s ludicrous!

That or my recent addiction to correcting people when they use “less” when they should use “fewer”

225 points

A simple one I think, I refuse to call twitter by other names.

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75 points

I do love, however calling it Xitter where X is pronounced “sh”

Like Xi Jinping. (Shi )

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5 points

It has no other names.

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3 points
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hear hear!

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2 points

It’s called Xitter now, pronounced shitter.

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200 points

If it were supposed to be pronounced “jif” it would have been spelled that way, I don’t give two fucks what Stephen Wilhite said about it either.

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173 points
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Discord is not a good replacement for support forums. Discord isn’t searchable by search engines.

Historically, if I had an issue with a product and I googled “[product] [issue]” I’d be met with a support forum post, with someone describing the same issue. I could read the thread to find how they resolved it. I don’t actually have to interact with the post at all, and I don’t need to ask the same question again. For most (decent) forums I don’t even need to make an account just to read the post.

Discord throws that all out the window. Now I’m met with a “JoiN OUr dIScoRd SerVEr to GEt suPPorT” page. Nothing is searchable via a search engine. And Discord’s server searchability (even in the app) has always been, at best, absolute dogshit. You already need to know exactly which text thread things were posted in, (because you can’t search the entire server at once), and you need to know exactly what was said, (because there’s no fuzzed search terms).

So 99% of the time, you just end up asking the same question that has already been asked a hundred times in the past, and now you need to wait for someone to respond. It also puts a lot more strain on the support staff, because they’re answering the same question a hundred times instead of just the once in a forum.

And don’t come at me with the “but Discord recently added a support forum feature where people can start threads and save the conversation for later” bullshit. That’s a band-aid, at best. It still isn’t searchable via search engines, so it means the above issues with Discord’s search function still apply, and the forum function is essentially useless as support forums.

Lastly, why the fuck should I be forced to join another server just to get support? What if I don’t have a discord account? What if I live in a region that Discord doesn’t support? What if I just plain don’t want to clog up my server sidebar with dozens of servers that I have only visited once? What if I just really hate the fact that your server has been configured to push notifications for every single message by default? What if I just fucking want to google my issue, and get an answer without any further effort?

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128 points

“white chocolate” doesn’t exist. It’s just sugar and a little bit of cocoa butter. It’s edible wax. It’s not chocolate and it doesn’t belong in any assortment of sweets, ever. Cocoa butter is skin moisturizer and that’s it.

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58 points

It provably does exist. And it’s delicious. I could go to the supermarket and buy some right now. Except I’m fat and trying to lose weight.

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24 points

It does exist in the way that chocolate ‘solids’ exist as an element of chocolate. A typical chocolate bar consists of both chocolate solids and cocoa butter. It’s still an element of what you’re eating,

So just cuz you eat ‘chocolate’ because you think you only favor the solids, you’re still eating the butter too in what makes chocolate. It’s like drinking milk products and then getting pedantic over people who use butter as a food even though milk contains some the same elements.

But again this is about stupid hills to die on. And you picked an intolerant and ignorant stance so I guess you technically win in this particular topic.

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11 points

No need for personal attack, this is all in good fun.

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20 points

TIL I like eating wax

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16 points

Have you tried ruby chocolate yet? I’m guessing you won’t be impressed.

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7 points

Ruby chocolate?

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8 points

What is Ruby Chocolate? Everything You Need to Know

I’ve tried it a couple of times, but it’s a little hard to find.

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11 points

I’m allergic to chocolate solids but can eat cocoa butter. So, in a society that is unreasonably obsessed with chocolate, it is nice that there is occasionally a “white chocolate” option on things that for some reason come in 15 flavors of chocolate and little else.

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11 points
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I’m fine with changing the name for it, but you sir can fuck right off if you want me to stop eating it instead of your “real” chocolate

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3 points

Well, since you called me “sir” like a polite person, I shall retort. I don’t care if you eat it, this is about being pedantic! You can go and eat kale!

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3 points

I try to be polite when cursing at others. It just makes for better online discourse imo

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9 points

You have my sword.

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6 points

And my bow.

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7 points

And my axe!

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9 points
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Removed by mod
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4 points

I would argue it’s actually congealed demon jizz but it’s definitely not fucking chocolate.

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2 points

Thank you for being fun and not a terrible person.

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3 points
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I agree with your feeling for the most part. White chocolate is not chocolate and does not belong in chocolate assortments or in the lofty company of actual chocolate. It’s a byproduct of chocolate making more than a chocolate itself. That being said, candy and sweets that are made with cocoa butter can be nice. I’m just not going to eat it when I want chocolate.

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118 points

The “is a hot dog a sandwich” and similar discussions are solved with the mighty sword of language and not some rigid taxonomy about fillings and bread.

Imagine a set of food items on a table, hot dog amongst them, but not other pseudo-sandwiches. I ask you to “Please pass me that sandwich.” If there is but a moment’s pause in your mind before you reach for the hot dog, even if it’s as you surmise I must be speaking about the hot dog as there are no other sandwich-like items available, then it is not a sandwich.

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64 points

Psycholinguisitics understands this effect. The “wrong” word is increasing cognitive load and slowing down the listener’s comprehension. The exact same thing happens when pronoun use is unclear and a person has to parse the most likely referent from context.

Language, especially English, is not computer code but leveraging the existing “libraries” of meaning and declaring variables carefully is usually very useful.

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7 points

I wish we had a dialect or subset of English that was intended to be more like computer code, and would be used for precisely specifying things. I have no idea how we’d do such a thing, and it’d never be adopted (and probably it’s been tried!). But trying to write English in a way that can’t be misinterpreted can be a real chore.

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29 points

This does exist in professional disciplines as jargon. I work in Orthopaedics and we do not say the “over here, inside part of my knee in the front. “. We say, “inferior, medial pole of the patella”

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9 points
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We do have that; it’s called “legalese.”

On a tenuously-related note, I really wish politicians would use Git (or at least some form of real version control) instead of relying on redlined drafts in Word.

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7 points
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Natural human languages always have ambiguity. There are plenty of conlangs (constructed languages) specifically designed to avoid ambiguity though if you wanted to use one of those.

If such a version of English were ever made, it would immediately gain ambiguity as soon as people began speaking it fluently (and same for the conlang if a community of speakers began using it fluently as well).

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6 points

I think “legalese” might be close to what you’re describing. It can still be ambiguous, but it seems to be our best attempt at avoiding that. Some forms of technical writing may also meet your definition.

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14 points

I use this example to introduce formal and functional approaches to topics in the social sciences. Any argument you try to make within the debate ends up including a variant of “…because sandwiches [abstraction about what formally defines a sandwich]”, which itself presumes that the “right” way to carve up the world is in categories of form. You could also conceive of sandwiches functionally, where something isn’t a sandwich if we (some cultural or linguistic group) just don’t think of them that way.

From a functional view, the very fact the debate exists at all means hot dogs aren’t sandwiches, cereal isn’t soup, pop tarts aren’t ravioli, etc.

Then I make them think about it in contexts like language, Durkheim, and policy making and watch their little minds explode.

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9 points

My reasoning is that a hotdog is a sausage. When you say you want a sandwich, you don’t say “pass me a ham” you say “pass me a ham sandwich.” When ordering a named sandwich, “I’ll have a Ruben” it’s widely understood that a Ruben is a sandwich so the modifier is already packaged in the name. A sandwich has “Sandwich” as a defining modifier.

When you ask for a hotdog you don’t say, “give me a hotdog sandwich” you say, “give me a hotdog.” The same situation works with bratwurst, you don’t order a brat sandwich. To further reinforce this, if you’re in the south and central US and order a Hotlink it comes on it’s own or in a hotdog bun but if you order a “hotlink sandwich” you get two hotlinks cut length wise and placed on a hamburger bun or bread.

A sausage can have a bun as a condiment and still be just a sausage. A sandwich can have sausage, but is still refered to as a sandwich. So a hotdog is a sausage served with bread, not a sandwich.

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7 points
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Are pepperoni and salami sausages?

It doesn’t change your sandwich example since they still fit if they are sausages, but sausage is another example of a name that is consistent except for all the times it isn’t.

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3 points

Are pepperoni and salami sausages?

Yes.

It doesn’t change your sandwich example since they still fit if they are sausages,

It does unless you’re putting an entire pepperoni or salami in one piece on your bread and still call it a sandwich. I would call bread with a number of thin hotdog-slices still a sandwich, too.

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3 points

a bun as a condiment

Uh

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6 points

Hot dog is obviously a taco

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4 points

If you go to France and order a taco, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise.

Those abominations are not tacos and as a native Texan that’s my hill to die on.

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5 points

I suppose you feel the same way on the “soup is cereal” too?

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6 points
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I’ve usually heard that framed the other way around, but, yes, that sort of argument is also easily solved by this test.

I’ll recklessly posit that most “is x a y?” arguments can be addressed with this methodology, noting the exception of the fruit and vegetable ones, since the answer is simply a little more complicated, e.g. a tomato is botanically a fruit and culinarily a vegetable. The word fruit and vegetables have similar but functionally different meanings in botany and cuisine terminology, which explains the distinction.

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5 points

I’d like to argue the fruit/vegetables dilemma is just arbitrary nonsense. All fruits come from vegetation, they’re as much vegetable as the stim, leaves, or flowers. The only reason we separate them is because some idiot got too carried away with taxonamy.

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5 points

And “almond milk is almond juice”

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4 points

There’s no such thing as almond milk. You know how I know ? Because there’s no almond tiddies.

With apologies to Lewis Black.

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4 points

I use a similar example.

If I went to a restaurant and ordered a 3 meat sandwich, and they gave me a hotdog, I’d be fucking pissed. Likewise if I ordered a hotdog and they gave me a taco with solidified beef and relish, I’d be confused, and concerned that I got somebody else’s weird special taco order.

Categories aren’t limited only to the forms and functions, but expectations. You can redefine or consolidate terms all you like but all you’re doing is causing confusion. If that’s what people are after then good troll I guess.

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4 points

If you think of sandwich as a verb, then any food that is “sandwiched” can be a sandwich. Hamburgers, hoagies, hotdogs, tacos, quesadillas, etc. However, by convention, when there is a more common, dedicated word for foodstuff you should use that instead. Tacos are sandwiches but it is weird to call them that when we can just call them tacos.

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3 points

Umm acktually a tomato is a fruit and strawberries aren’t berries. 🤓

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2 points

But if, instead of a hot dog, there are sliced deli meats on the table and you ask me to pass the sandwich, I’m still going to pause and be confused because component parts are never the final product. I’m not sure what this proves.

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I have a different issue.

A hot dog is a Frankfurt sausage or frankfurter in the United States. Frankfurters were notorious in the sausage scene for having the Frankfurt bend. You’ve probably seen this bend on fancier sausages like Louisiana Hot Links, or Chicken Pineapple. But US hot dogs, whether Ball Park or Oscar Meyer or whatever are these straight things.

Hot dogs are no longer hot dogs.

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1 point
1 point
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An article from the ancient aliens people who run “The Secret Nazi Laser Weapons of the Luftwaffe” so boomers can fall asleep cumming their pants to right wing hokum at 2 AM?

That’s not real information

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0 points

But hot dogs aren’t sandwiches they’re tacos. It perfectly logical to describe a hot dog as an American taco. If there were no taco items on the table and you asked for a taco I’d think you were being funny, but I’d pass you the hot dog.

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13 points

Without pause? You’re telling me that if you saw a table with xiaolongbao, hamburger, duba wot, pizza, Caesar salad, ice cream, hot dog, soondubu, and potato chips on it and I said “Please pass me that taco.” you would hand me the hot dog without any hesitation? Even a fucking moment’s worth?

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4 points

Pause long enough to go “that’s different”, then hand you the hot dog, because only one of those items is a taco, even if it’s not commonly called a taco.

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2 points

Tacos are sandwiches…

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