One that comes to mind for me: “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is not always true. Maybe even only half the time! Are there any phrases you tend to hear and shake your head at?
I was told ”a samurai can’t chop down a tree unless he uses the right tool for the right job” because I was seeking help from outside a transitional program (LifeWorks at WKU) because I didn’t trust my staff there and they were making me work a job I didn’t want at the time.
I think the person who told me that was geeking out because he read too much Bruce Lee.
More importantly, I was seeking help because I wanted to get out of LifeWorks because I didn’t like it and everyone was convincing me to stay.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
No. What doesn’t kill you creates trauma.
Yeah what didn’t kill me gave me a chronic disease. I’m weak as hell compared to 3 years ago.
For me it turned me into a depressed person who no longer feels emotion the way I did before. I’m 99% numb. The other 1% is manic attacks.
Same. But in a way, it did kill me, so maybe that’s why I’m not getting stronger.
In the same vein (and at least as dangerous): “Pain is just weakness leaving the body.” No, you testosterone poisoned numb-nuts - it is your body’s way of telling you that something is not right. Stop and listen!
With the exception when someone starts out a new sport or even manual work, like yep you’re a bit achy now, good on you because that’s the feeling of laziness escaping!
I’m a fan of “what doesn’t kill you only serves to postpone the inevitable.” But maybe that’s a bit fatalistic.
It’s not a picnic, and doesn’t have to be. Without the bad we wouldn’t always appreciate the good things in life. I’ve been fortunate, I’m living well these days, happily married, and haven’t suffered from depression in probably over a decade now (though anxiety is an ever present low buzz in the background. I’m used to it).
But that phrase is irksome. What doesn’t kill you doesn’t always make you stronger. Sometimes it fucks up your life. Sometimes it’s a roadblock, other times it’s life altering in unforeseen ways, and occasionally the consequences of what doesn’t kill is a tragic fate worse than death.
Tripping and falling might not kill me, might just lead to embarrassment. Or it could lead to CTE or irreversible brain damage from head trauma. Certainly not stronger for that sort of thing.
Well, no, the trauma is the event itself. The reaction to it is post-traumatic stress. If that stress gets in the way of your day-to-day functioning, then it could be called PTSD (but there’s like pages and pages of diagnostic criteria too).
“All’s fair in love and war”
No it isn’t you fucking sociopath
It’s not a great saying if used to defend acts (on the love side of things, that mindset can even ruin what it’s trying to “win”), but it does make sense to keep it in mind when considering possible actions of other players. If you’re fighting for someone’s love or at war, don’t assume there’s any moral limits to what others might do and that it’s thus safe to ignore those angles.
Not a fan of “it is what it is”. It’s called a thought-terminating cliche. It often means “I’m tired of talking about this, do it my way” when my boss says it.
I’ve always liked it. I guess it depends who is saying it because when my old boss said it, it meant more like, “this is the situation we’re in, let’s not waste time arguing about why it is the situation and let’s just focus on dealing with it and going forward”
Yeah it can have wildly different meanings depending on the circumstances in which it’s said. It can be “well we can’t change it, may as well get on with life” all the way to “well this discussion is not gonna change anything, let’s get on with fixing it”. Very similar, but polar opposite sentiments.
On the rare occasions that I’ve dragged out “it is what it is”, I’ve really wanted to say something like neither of us can change it, and instead of working towards a solution, all you’ve done is COMPLAIN for the last hour. Now SHUT UP, accept the situation, and make yourself useful!
You bring an interesting point! So there’s a Japanese phrase this reminds me of: Shouganai (しょうがない) which translates to “It can’t be helped”. For me, this hits differently than “It is what it is”. Perhaps it’s the context, as I know it’s said about natural disasters like tsunamis and therefore has a connotation of the “getting on with fixing it” like you said.
,I feel like this one is context dependent. Sometimes it’s just acceptance of the situation.
“Wish it weren’t so hot outside, but this is Texas in August. It is what it is.”
I use it when people keep complaining about situations they cannot change. Yes, we fell in the hole, yes it hurt, please just let’s focus on how to get out.
“Ah fuck, this hole sucks! Who even dug that here!? My shoes are dirty, my pants are a mess!” …
“Well… It is what it is. Let’s get out.”
I agree, when it’s used as a thought-terminating cliché. It’s also very applicable to impart acceptance of something that you can’t control.
I used it today to communicate my feelings on a topic I can’t control. Like, me venting isnt going to improve my or the questioners situation.
In principal I am against thought-termination. Sometimes, like a good dog, you gotta put a thought out of its misery
“Everything happens for a reason .”
No. Fuck no, and fuck you. I DARE you to say that to the faces of the endless innocent people—many of whom are CHILDREN—who have been murdered, tortured, abused, enslaved, raped, ect.
I hate how people use this but not the phrase itself.
Everything DOES happen for a reason. It’s literal, precise, and accurate. Reasons dont need to be mysterious, aloof, or unknowable. They often are because we choose to stop learning but everything does happen for a reason so start looking for better questions
The reasons just don’t necessarily come with any moral take away attached.
Children get bone cancer for purely physical reasons, yes, but there is no plan behind it, nothing that makes the situation better in any way and this is how the phrase is usually being used. It’s people saying: “Don’t be sad, something good will come of it.” to the faces of grieving parents or deathly ill people who have nothing to look forward to but pain.
Religious/spiritual proselytising has completely alienated the phrase from the methodological naturalism it could express.
I mean, everything does happen for a reason. It’s just that most of the time, the reason is “because so-and-so is an asshole”. It makes it essentially a useless platitude, but not an untrue one. I definitely take issue with the implication of it, that there’s some supreme, all-knowing authority in the universe who has this complicated, labyrinthine plan for everyone that involves massive amounts of suffering. That whole “mysterious plan of God” thing is a way for Christians to take credit for all of the good stuff that happens, while downplaying all of the bad stuff that happens as just “part of God’s plan!” It’s insidious.
Second time I’m bringing it up in this thread, but in response to exactly that kind of thinking is why I’ve adopted “the universe doesn’t care, so we have to” as a phrase I try to live by.
There are so many popular ways of thinking that absolve humans and humanity of various kinds of responsibility.
It’s not good.
I think I get the sentiment that you are angry at but there is nothing wrong with that statement. It just doesn’t mean “whelp, there must be some higher purpose those things are serving that we don’t see” and is more like “there are some awful people doing bad things” or “they just were living in a seismic area” or “they had some genes not compatible with their survival”… There are always reasons. Not satisfying or purpose fulfilling reasons, just reasons.
