I have a problem with establishing boundaries.
I’m a private person. That’s very often misinterpreted as being arrogant and feeling superior to others. I’m not, I just wish to be left alone, but people still feel disrespected and it’s tiring to be constantly explaining yourself. And I don’t understand why I have to explain myself constantly.
This very emotional and thankful patient wanted a picture with me and I stupidly agreed. He also wanted my phone number (I gave him a false one) to invite me to have lunch, as he celebrated his 70th birthday. I don’t believe it was sexual or romantic, because he is married, his wife was there when he extended the invitation and took the picture and he also wanted to invite the whole unit.
I acted like this because it was the easiest way to get him to leave the hospital and free the room but also because I didn’t want to cause a scene.
What could I do next time?
“Sorry, I don’t get paid enough to afford a phone.” /s
“Thank you, but unfortunately the hospital/medical place doesn’t allow me to do that/accept an invite” ?
If this only happens at work, then you can say, “Sorry, that’s against my department’s policy. We’ve had some incidents and my boss told us not to.”
I am a bit of a shy person and being on spotlight could make me uncomfortable. A simple thank you is enough to brighten my day
Thank you, that’s very kind, but for professional ethics reasons I’ll have to decline your offer.
I think it’s also perfectly reasonable to say the truth instead, and replace “professional ethics” with “personal”.
If they are appreciative of you, and don’t truly want to do whatever it is that makes you the most comfortable or happy, they should be exposed to a learning opportunity.
If they get offended. Maybe they eventually figure out that, just maybe, you shouldn’t express gratitude with selfishness.
Anyways. That’s ny two cents. Say it as it is.
