It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.
But how do you feel it?
Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.
There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)
Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.
So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?
i like me.
everyone else is optional
I go in assuming no one will like me and then I’m just pleasantly surprised whenever they do. Like, only 5% didn’t like you? Not too fucking shabby, well done!
I remember I also don’t like a lot of people and that’s it
Jupp same here.
I just care about it if it has a real negative consequence. Like your boss won’t promote you. Otherwise it doesn’t matter. Not. One. Bit.
Yeah, people are full of shit. The way I approach this is just to try and understand if I’m the asshole (or Hanlon’s razor equivalent), or they are. If it’s their issue, it doesn’t really bother me anymore that they don’t like me, and they’re just an obstacle rather than a peer.
That’s just my experience though. And yeah, written out it sounds kind of harsh, but I’m going to say it’s better than becoming even more of a nervous wreck than I already am.
It may sound a little silly but when I get good feedback on something, I pop it in my journal under a specific tag so I can revisit it from time to time.
It’s unfortunate that people are unfair to you, possibly they are younger or otherwise have incorrect expectations about your fallibility as a human.
I used to respond to things like that but these days I let the positive comments speak for themselves. Just remember to ask for feedback- a lot of people otherwise won’t do it unless they’ve got something negative to say.
They could also just be projecting their personal shit, and there’s no controlling that. Or they just don’t want to be in the course. Or they have deluded expectations.
People can be super finicky like that. I remember when in high school, I certainly didn’t want to be there, and I know I found a way to make it my teachers’ fault, who were probably pretty good people considering they put up with us.
