Why couldn’t this call be an email? Why would you call, when you know that you are near indistinguishable from spam calls about Microsoft services and Nigerian princes?
Phone calls also assume the person on the other end wants to be bothered. If you choose to not answer, you’re treated like the a-hole and are expected to explain why (“I’ve been trying to call you. Why haven’t you picked up?”)
“A telephone is a fantastically rude thing. I mean, it’s like going ‘speak to me now! Speak to me now! Speak to me now!’. If you went to someone’s office and banged on their desk and said, ‘I will make a noise until you speak to me’ it would be considered unbelievably rude.”
I was trying to explain to an elderly friend that people don’t just phone other people now and certainly not at times they will be doing something.
She found it hard to accept that many people find it rude to be called unannounced.
As an example, at one time if someone was organising a social event (eg party) they would phone around to invite people.
But that’s incredibly rude you are imposing on someone and also asking them to decide or excuse themselves on the spot.
I have a coworker that if you try to call her and she doesn’t want to talk she straight up changes her status to away or busy and then just ignores your call. She is an a-hole but not for this reason, lol.
Shortly after getting a cell phone, I made a personal policy that most people don’t get a free pass to interrupt my life whenever they want (there are a handful of people on the short list, of course). I’ve had friends and family comment that I’m hard to contact by phone, and I’ve always pleasantly agreed (and explained politely if they seem interested). Even texts or other messages can wait until I’m at a good place to respond.
For me, having my phone on silent most of the time is a mental health thing. I know people that have their attention diverted every few minutes, and I have no idea how they survive.
Try having a brain that is compelled to actively search for new distractions, and
When my dad wants to talk, he texts me something like “Hey Stephen, give me a call when you have a chance”, and then I oblige when I have a chance. Most of the time it probably could have been an entirely text exchange, but whatever.
When my mom wants to talk, she just calls out of the blue, I don’t answer, and usually we don’t end up talking.
…I forgot where exactly I was going with this, but something about lining the call up beforehand
For me an email is when I don’t need a quick response. A text is when I want a faster response but I don’t want to interrupt what the other person is doing. A call is when I want a quick response and I think it’s worth interrupting the person.
I very rarely call.
I think context makes a difference on whether a call is welcome or not, appropriate or not.
If the email asks me to write out a bunch of info I know off the top of my head, just call me. Don’t make me write out something that I can just tell you much faster.
If you’re asking something that kicks off a conversation going back and forth like if you need help walking through something, sending emails back and forth is annoying and dumb. Knocking it out in one call is faster and easier than exchanging 15 emails.
On the other hand, if you don’t need an answer right away, if you need documents or images or if you need to communicate about something that requires a record of the communication, email is better.
I have been annoyed equally by getting calls and emails when people use them for things when they aren’t ideal.
For me it would help if there would be an option for me to see the at least the reason why the call is being made and also an estimated time of the call.
And with work related calls, it kind of makes me insecure to not know the topic beforehand. I don’t want to blob out some half information. Write it in email, I’ll see for it and get back to you.
For me it would help if there would be an option for me to see the at least the reason why the call is being made and also an estimated time of the call.
There is: the person calling can first send a short text asking if they can call you to talk about ________.
I was more thinking about as something that should be baked into the “phone app” from my point of view. So when the phone rings, I’m seeing who calls, why is he calling and what amount of time would he need. If I’m missing the call, I would also see these info in the recent calls.
