…ideally one that was both genuine and that you had the confidence and self awareness to interpret as kind. And for bonus points, what’s one you’ve given?
I’m thinking back to the guy in group therapy years ago who told me he always thought of people who swore as not knowing any better words, but that I obviously knew better words and just also swore and even used them artistically and that’s just really stuck with me. Sometimes I wonder how much of my self esteem has suffered not just because I’ve been told not to brag, but also because I’m extremely weird so the compliments I do receive often reflect that.
My bonus one (and I’m not sure how well he was able to take it) was that one of my fellow psych nurses was frequently and obviously terrified any time shit hit the fan, but that somehow still he’d never once failed to have my back. He’d be stuttering the whole way through an incident but I’d walk out of the med room with both halves of a B52 and he’d take one of the syringes without a second thought. He was literally the epitome of “courage isn’t not being scared, it’s being willing to face it.” I should find a nice presentation of that quote somewhere to send him because I’m not sure I phrased it well at the time.
I was in my early 20s and was visiting a friend’s house. His wife had a friend visiting that I’d never met. We were introduced and the first words she said to me were “Do you know your features are wasted on a guy?” and then went on to provide specific details.
We were married a year later. And that was 30 years ago.
Especially eyelashes. It’s bizarre to me that eyelashes are considered feminine when increased eyelash thickness / length is practically a male secondary sex characteristic (turns out testosterone doesn’t magically skip your eyelashes). I’ve always wanted write a historical fiction femdom porn where the men dress like birds of paradise just for the principle of the thing; in nature males are more often the “fairer” sex, lol.
Man what happened to men’s fashion? We went from heels and frills to grey on black and it’s awful.
THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING.
I’m a switch and the maledom porn is on FIRE with hot Scottish werewolves and vampires flying helicopters. Then femdom has weird goblin men crawling on the floor eating shit. I’m sure that’s the lid for somebody’s extremely bizarre pot but it’s a bizarre disparity.
WHERE ARE THE PERIOD PIECES WITH HEELS AND ELABORATE WIGS???
Blame this mother fucker from the revolutionary times for inventing the suit.
Guy here: I have had multiple female friends and girlfriends tell me I have beautiful eyelashes that they are jealous of.
I still find it weird… like I understand it is a compliment and that they genuinely wish that they had such natural lashes…
Probably I just have too many core memories about being bullied for it by guys in high school and middle school.
A neighbor saw me walking barefoot to my mailbox and complimented me on my healthy feet.
Hackles went up thinking he was some foot fetishist who was going to get weird on me. Nope, just a medical person of some sort that works with feet a lot and I genuinely have healthy arches and mobile toes. At least I choose to believe that explanation he gave. Otherwise, I have to assume my neighbor is jerking it every time I walk outside.
I have to check people’s feet on admission, 50-50 to make sure there’s no contraband in their socks, but also genuinely to make sure there’s no gangrene or anything considering how many homeless diabetics come through. I’ve seen some feet alright. Nurses also frequently make “olive garden parmesan” jokes about the amount of skin flakes that come off (particularly older) people’s feet when you go to take their socks off. It’s so bad sometimes that you have to be careful not to breathe in or leave your mouth open when you do it because of how they disperse up into the air, except it can still get in your eyes, and you’re rarely expecting it.
I got my leg fucked up in a hot sandy land far away. While I was doing rehab I used a cane and walked with a limp. One day I was walking out of an HEB in Houston when a dude dressed like Huggy Bear told me he liked my strut and then told me to “keep on pimpen playa.”
In retrospect, it sort of makes sense as my limp with the cane looked like I was doing that stereotypical pimp walk but at the time I was very confused lol
Honestly all of my patients walking when they previously weren’t is a pimp walk to me so. Usually the ones I see are catatonia though, not ortho. I still vibe deeply with this video.
From a French colleague:
“You are the kind of Italian we like in France.”
“Wonderful, but I’m American.”
“I doubt that”
I’ve had something similar quite a few times.
Meet someone, talk for a bit, “where are you from?” u.s. “really? You don’t seem American”
They meant it as a compliment
I was dancing at a club a couple years ago and someone came up to me and yelled without pause “Are you a boy or a girl you’re gorgeous”
