Say hypothetically I’ve already shot my shot and was shot down, how would I go about getting over this (without rebounding to other people or whatever)?
Edit: Thanks everyone, for all the comments, support, and advice! Majority rules a tie between time and distractions lol. Seriously though thanks y’all
I call my personal strategy the 3Ds: Distance, Distraction, and Description.
First, I distance myself from my crush. This includes exposure such as social media. I have, in the past, told my crush that I needed time to get over them before I can be in a place to interact with them again. The first time, I never really could and had to cut all contact. The second (and last) time it went well and we were able to continue our friendship for years until life distanced us. It’s all context-dependent, so you’ll have to decide for yourself if you still want to be friends. Otherwise, out of sight and out of mind.
Next, I distract myself. While I still spend time processing my emotions and disappointment, I make sure to do things I enjoy to take my mind off everything. I hang out with friends, play video games, read, watch movies, etc. If not, I will spend whatever idle time I have thinking about my crush, which can make it difficult to get over them.
Finally, description. This one sounds a little weird because I had to use a word to fit the 3D theme, but this one is all about processing. I write about my feelings or talk to my friends/a professional about it. Sometimes, I research other people’s experiences and reflect on how I relate. No matter the medium, I describe what I’m feeling or how I’m hurting. It releases some of that internal pressure I feel and sometimes gives me something I can analyze and understand about myself and my feelings.
Don’t know how much this helps you but everyone’s process is different. As long as you are exploring ways to move on and being mindful of what works and what doesn’t (for you), you’ll get there with time. Good luck and feel better soon my friend!
This is the most comprehensive strategy that I can vouch for.
Done all of them.
I would say, the last one is underrated but very much useful not just for getting over a crush but for personal growth in general, which is a lifetime skill.
You’d be surprised by how many adults don’t understand themselves or even avoid doing self-reflection. In consequences, stumble upon the same problem again and again without taking different/better approach to handle them.
I have known friends who have had a crush on someone. For me I never had. But they were not honest upfront. On my first date I told a date that I was a functional alcoholic and a traveling nurse. And I do not do sex on the first or the second date. I leave it up to them if they leave I know its not ment to be and never think about it again. Depends on how fine they are a couple of them I may have tickled my skittle to them but thats it. If you are having real problems or thoughts of harm please call 988 in the states or give me a pm and maybe just maybe we can talk.
Time.
Do other things and in time you will be over it.
Realize that the person who rejected you is the wrong person, since why would you want someone who doesn’t want you? Dodged a bullet there
That’s how I always thought it. Even if I did get with them, I’d be with someone that doesn’t want me. How miserable for both of us.
Then it’s time to go find someone like that person that does like me. Could be passing them every day and wouldn’t know if I’m still hung up on the impossible.
Make sure your romantic life isn’t the only thing you are focused on. make sure you are doing things that you enjoy and spending time with people you care about. If you have a good social network any 1 part can have problems and they will suck but it’s not losing everything which makes it suck way less.
Accept that not everyone will like you back, in fact, most won’t. Mourne the loss, be sad, cry, then get up and carry on, because there will be another.
I also prefer to stay friends if I can, because if I loved them for some reason, them not feeling anything for me doesn’t change that, so I want them in my life.
Some of this was only possible due to the fact that I have had my heart broken too many times to count, so it’s also a thing of practicing radical acceptance.
