I once slipped on a bar of soap in the shower. I got up and slipped again a couple of minutes later.

I also almost drowned at a water park when I was like 3 or 4. I was on an inner tube on a water slide and fell off into a pool that was in the middle of the slide. The lifeguard didn’t see me and kept sending my family down the slide. Luckily someone else saw me and rescued me.

I was hiking in late winter/early spring when I stepped onto a deep pile of wet leaves that gave out. Ended up sliding a good 25 ft downhill, and the only thing that stopped me from falling 100 feet onto the rocks below was a small tree that went dead center between my legs. I sat there for a bit with my feet dangling over the ledge until the pain diminished and continued on.

Still enjoy hiking to this day, just a little more careful on where I step.

• Took a muscle relaxant I’m allergic against and nearly died on my bathroom floor while unable to call for help, face planted into the ground, sweating and tasting blood, at 3am about 5m away from my deep sleeping girlfriend.
• aqua planing with my motorcycle in a turn
• skidding on ice with my motorcycle
• wrapping my motorcycle around a tree
• getting under a semi truck with my motorcycle
• accidentally taking drugs which cause serotonin syndrome
• drowning in a wave pool because I slipped (clinically dead for about a minute)
• having a cramp at sea 500m from the shore
• hitting a tree on skis at night alone
• taking the wrong drugs, dissociating and waking up from the feeling of cold train tracks vibrating against my cheeks
• falling out of my bed 10cm from metal feet of my desk

Come to think of it, I really need to get a motorcycle again. That was fun.

• Almost got abducted by pedo but a cop rolled by
• Mom and I got rear ended by a dump truck that left us hospitalized for weeks
• Renal failure due to something wrong with my kidney (I was too young to understand what) but surgeons were able to fix it without removing kidney
• Almost drowned surfing…at least three times
• Hit and run when on my bicycle. That got me a nice new bike, which was nice.
• Near miss with a car while bombing a hill on my Powell Peralta skateboard. It should count as multiple because, in hindsight, bombing a hill that steep, that fast, on that board, with no gear or helmet, was in itself a near death experience every time.
• Near miss with a territorial tiger shark while surfing.
• Near miss with a territorial moray eel while scuba diving
• Wrecked my motorcycle
• Rode off a cliff while back country snowboarding…alone. Please don’t be this stupid. That was very dumb and 100% on me. Always bring a buddy. I should know better.
• Hit a hidden rock while snowboarding that caused me to whip the back of my head into the ground so hard that I almost passed out. When I checked my helmet I saw that my head must have landed on another hidden rock because there was a quarter sized hole where the rock had pierced. It was very likely a fatal hit had I not been wearing a helmet.
• Suffered from chronic and acute insomnia that almost drove me to suicide. Reality gets tilted when you don’t sleep at all.
• Felt not good. Went to the ER and was rushed to surgery. Turns out most of the arteries on my heart were blocked 93+%. One was 99% blocked. Ended up getting four stents but at least I dodged a bypass and a heart attack. Close though. Had I waited, maybe even a day, I would have had a massive heart attack. *Got cancer. Beat cancer. Fuck cancer.

EDIT: Reading someone else’s comment reminded me of a time when I was very young (5?) where we had an aquarium on top of a tall dresser. I opened the bottom drawer and climbed on the lip so that I can could see the fishies. The whole thing toppled over on me. The dresser landed on my lower body and the aquarium landed on me, shattering. I clearly remember my mom screaming in panic, my neighbors lifting the dresser off me, the terrazzo floor cover in bloody water and me yelling at the top of my lungs for someone to save the fish that was dying next to me. It didn’t make it. Oooh boy, there’s trauma there. That memory hit a nerve for some reason.

As a kid (maybe 6-8) at the beach. My dad was on the shore and I waded out and kept going further and further, until the sand bank fell off and I dropped what felt like 5m underwater and couldn’t find my way back. I wasn’t a bad swimmer but panic set in and I got disoriented. Felt like I was treading water for 15 minutes but it was more like 3 until a family friend saw what was happening and made it out to me to pull me back to the shore.