I want to selfhost a messaging service for my family. It should be secure and have voice calling option, ideally. Thank you.

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Why? Existing platforms, especially the plain cell network, are going to be far more compatible and reliable.

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Cellphone network calls / texts aint secure at all. If you want to communicate in a secure way you need to use another seevice/app.

Many stated matriy as selfhostable service and i totally agree. Signal/Threema are also good options If you dont want to selhost.

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Since we use Nextcloud, we just use Talk. It works well enough for us, but you should also host a TURN/STUN Server with that.

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Also a vote for Matrix and Synapse. Works great and you can decide if you federate or not.

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Mattermost is really nice. They added voice calling as a beta feature a while ago and it works pretty good so far.

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