Big thanks, and big love =)! I have always loved the act of drawing, and have always participated in it. I unfortunately came down with something that affected my motor skills and made it so much harder to get pen to paper. I used to be able to work on very intricate designs, and as an individual who’s incredibly emotion-based I always tried to take what I saw in my heart/mind and transpose it. And while I have never been as technically apt as some of my artist friends, I feel like I did a solid job in conveying a->b (as I wrote up there). But as my physical body degraded, I almost stopped creating all together. Because I stopped being able to capture what I used to be able to do. And it hurt, like physically hurt - and it really frustrated me. Because I felt lost in a way, because I couldn’t meet my own “standards” which I think now are just kinda anal and to be honest perhaps more so some crappy perfectionist bullshit that’s enforced by society.
We always want that “A” grade, that piece that makes people “engage” that shows off our talent and reeks of some kind of unobtainable dedication to form. But really, I feel like that takes away from the actual joy of creation. Which at the end of the day, should be for you - or whomever you’re actually trying to speak to. You know, be it in presents or statements. But like that social media tokens jam, that’s just like…some shallow-bull. It took a long time for me to be kind enough to myself that I allowed myself to just be. You know, I make what I make even if it’s crusty. Even if it’s not picture perfect. Even if I am drawing a face and it doesn’t exactly align. Cause I’m doing it, and like I said - doing it is way better than not. And I’ve made some really nice stuff since, and even made some people I love happy. Cause I can still do it, I just you know - might take longer or just let stuff go.
I switched to ink a long time ago, because I felt like I would always hit pencil with an eraser until I got it right or destroyed the image. What are you going to do with ink? That stuff sticks. You gotta carry on. That’s why I was happy when I saw you worked with pen. It’s like just leaning into that “fuck it” energy =)!
And yeah, I totally know what you mean. I love novice art 10/10 because I think it’s less on rails. Because it comes without the expectation of form, and just allows people to explore and express themselves. I also always figured if you told 100 people to draw an egg, you’d get 100 different eggs even though it’s just an oval. And it’s why I love talking to folks on the whole, because we can all live in similar ways but have such different pieces of the puzzle.
Also I had an art teacher once who forced us to draw a nude, then erase it - then draw it again, then erase it, then draw it again - all with cascading forms. Ended up like some kind of cubist nightmare but it was beautiful because I think she was trying to express to us not to sweat the details or the mistakes but to enjoy the process and form. So big love to her too =)!
