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guess I fucked up my computer beyond repair

Unlikely, only misconfigured. The “Ubuntu success” message might show because your PC tries to boot from a GPT partition on a different disk or you have inadvertently overwritten the Windows bootloader. Booting from a live USB should work but it might take a couple of tries depending on what settings you have changed in the UEFI; also check if your flashdrive is working properly. Apps like the Fedora Media Writer or Rufus can check if the image is not corrupted after writing it to the drive.

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