It’s normal to be the second. Everyone has emotions. If your partner/ex can’t handle that, tell them to go date an AI robot.
This isn’t about showing emotion or empathy. The point is about a partner who expects you to handle their emotions for you. Examples how that looks in a relationship:
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Passive aggressiveness: sabotaging the relationship without wanting to openly talk about issues.
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Dishonest communication that leads to resentment: For example pretending you are fine when you are hurting.
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Using your partner as a therapist: with issues like depression, expecting your partner to elevate your symptoms.
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Unloading all social and relationship responsibilities onto your partner.
It’s in general the expectation that your partner somehow makes life work for you. It’s not about sharing emotions or caring for each other.