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A book with the title "I didn’t touch the computer, it just stopped working And Other Hilarious Jokes you Can Tell Someone from the IT Department.

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8 points

on my work computer, 99% of my issues are related to botched updates running in the background without my knowledge

I take responsibility for ~2% of the issues on my work system

Congrats on having 101% of your issues :)

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8 points

~2% means approximately 2 percent. So still right.

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5 points

Sometimes math is hard.

Also sometimes I take responsibility for fucking up silent updates - I hear the fan spinning up but I still feel the need to reboot just to settle things down.

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5 points

98.5 rounds up to 99, 1.5 rounds up to 2%

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