A man was stranded on his roof during a flood.

A passersby paddling a boat called out “Jump on I’ll save you!”

“No thanks, god will save me” said the man.

So the boat paddled off.

The water kept rising slowly.

Then a motorboat drove by.

“Swim over and jump on, I’ll save you!” Said the driver.

“No thanks, god will save me.” Said the man.

So the motorboat drove by.

The water kept rising slowly.

Then a helicopter appeared and dropped a ladder for the man.

“Climb on!” Said the pilot. “We’ll save you!”

“No thanks, god will save me.” Said the man.

So the helicopter flew away.

The water continued to rise until the man drowned.

When in heaven he found god and asked, “God? Why didn’t you save me!? I waited and waited and you never showed!?”

“I sent you two boats and a helicopter what the fuck else did you want!?” Replied god.