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126 points

I’m cis. I’m a cis man with a exclusive sexual interest in cis women. I find the term very helpful to express very clearly who I am and what I want. I can’t imagine being so delicate as to lose my shit over being called cis.

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63 points

I’m cis and my sister is too. My cister, if you will.

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23 points

Are you a dad?

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20 points

No, I’m just a bachelor dude. A mister. Or even… a “cister”?

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7 points

Groan.

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28 points

Wow guys, get a load of this cissy over here!

(Jk me too lol)

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23 points

I don’t know why people get so grumpy over the word cis

If a room has no lights on do you say “this room has a complete absence of light”? Or do you say the room is dark?

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10 points

I find cis to be an extremely useful term. It very clearly conveys what I am and who I’m interested in. Why wouldn’t I embrace it?

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1 point

It kinda feels like people who don’t believe trans women and cis women are interchangeable should be the ones pushing the word, those who say ‘trans women are women’ surely don’t want the slogan to be made meaningless by having cis women as the established term.

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6 points

More like if the room is lit its “normal.” That seems to be how people see it, being “persecuted” becauae they cant be normal and call others abnormal

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1 point

becauae

I like that

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15 points

I find the word as displeasing as some people find ‘moist’, but I’m entitled to an opinion. Am I going to wave a sign around and demonstrate over it despite thinking it was promoted for its potential to upset the victim? Of course not: it’s just a stupid name and I’ve been called far worse by better drill sergeants. There’s a lot of room in there between disliking something and “losing my shit over” it, and it will help respecting others if you understand that.

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11 points

Well, there’s also a different between “I have a weird visceral reaction to the sound itself” and “I think its equal to the new word” lol

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6 points

What victim?

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-11 points
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Wow, you really are delicate. It’s got to be hard going through life being offended by such little things all the time

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20 points

That’s a really weird response to someone’s reasonable comment.

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4 points

Hi! I know this might just be the wrong context at this point as you are already getting flak, but I was curious and wanted to ask why you have exclusive sexual interest in cis women?

For example I would imagine some heterosexual cis men would have a hard time dating a trans woman who haven’t had bottom surgery or who are early in their transition (in which case sometimes the sexual preference is phrased as a genital preference rather than about exclusively dating cis people).

Some women who for various reasons pass well as cis are not distinguishable from cis women, and in that case I assume based on your statement you still would have a hard time dating that person if you found out they were trans.

For example, based on your statement I assume you wouldn’t date or be attracted to Nava Mau.

I understand if you don’t want to answer, it’s not like this is the best context and it is a vulnerable topic - just wanted to extend an olive branch in case you wanted to talk and think about it with less judgement.

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18 points
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Hi. I’m happy to talk to someone who wants to have a reasonable conversation.

Just some context. My wife is bisexual, my sister is bisexual, my daughter is a lesbian, my son and daughter both have non-binary and trans friends who I regularly spend time with, I have gay friends and lesbian friends, I was a member of the wedding party at a same sex wedding, I am friends with a local transmasc, and I’ve had a pair of transfem friends for more than 50 years. I am very much an ally to the LGBTQ+ community.

I have always been straight and have always been interested in women. My experience with my two long time transfem friends colors my preference. Both have very serious mental health issues. One is post-surgical, the other will never be able to get surgery. I do not find Nava Manu attractive but that is strictly a funcion of what I see as vary sharp facial features. She reminds me of Theodora Elphaba. Jaime Clayton, on the other hand, I find very attractive. I’m not completely closed to the idea of a relationship with a trans woman but in my fairly broad experience with trans women I have never encountered anyone who I would be at all interested in having a relationship with. Thus, my preference is for cis women.

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6 points
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Interesting. Well, first - thanks for being an ally!!

It does seem like trans folks have a pretty rough road in most societies, and predictably that leads to poor mental health outcomes. The statistics about how well a trans person does post-transition has a lot to do with whether they are accepted by their family and friends. (Mental health issues are also common before transition while closeted, or not-yet aware of being trans, which might have biological as well as social / psychological reasons behind it.)

It also makes sense you might not personally know trans women you are attracted to as there are far fewer trans folks compared to cis folks; though, it sounds like you were even able to list a trans woman you do find attractive.

Digging into that more, if there were someone who had the right personality and looked like Jaime Clayton, would being trans be a deal-breaker for pursuing a relationship with that person? I guess I wonder if it’s really being trans that is the problem for you, or if this is just a short-hand for a bunch of other traits that in practice just make you less likely to be attracted.

I ask because at this point it sounds like you would be pretty open to dating trans women who you find attractive (personality and looks wise), but that it is more practical reality that you just aren’t attracted to most trans women (probably for a variety of reasons).

Does that seem right, or am I off base here?

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2 points

I’ve never met a person who is.

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-19 points

exclusive sexual interest in cis women

Hmm. So in other words, you think you can always tell if someone is trans?

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28 points

If someone says they’re not interested in dating Republicans, it doesn’t mean they are any better than the average person at picking one out from a crowd.

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-11 points

No, but they didn’t say not date, they said not attracted to.

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10 points

Can you go back and show me where I said that?

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-15 points

I’m cis. I’m a cis man with a exclusive sexual interest in cis women.

Here. Unless you know for certainty that you can 100 percent correctly identify every person you meet as cis or trans, you wouldn’t have the knowledge to confidently make that statement.

Unless I misunderstand?

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7 points
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Of course. For example, this woman is obviously trans:

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4 points

I don’t think that MTG is trans but she is utterly unattractive to me physically and she’s a fucking horrible person.

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