I have two in my right, one in my left, and have been told many times that its the same thing. More in the right ear apparently makes me gay. Im definitely straight, but I kept my piercings like this for the last 15 years, and wouldnt you know it, the only people telling me thats gay are other straight people. This is certainly just personal experiences, but my personal experience is that its not a ‘gay rule’ as much as its a ‘homophobe rule.’ Like you said, pretty sure it was a style or signal in the gay community in the 80s or something, but any more it just feels like an urban legend perpetuated by bigots.