the main graphene guy has unaddressed mental health issues and refuses to seek treatment (he appears to believe the problem is everyone else)

Daniel Micay stepped down last year [1]. Also, he was allegedly being swatted which would put anyone on edge, considering someone has already been killed over it [2] and police aren’t exactly known for treating people humanely.

I genuinely don’t feel comfortable with that one man show controlling my phone

Looks like there’s 16 people involved in the project [3] - excluding any external contributors, that’s definitely more than one. Granted, its probably the previous lead and the new one who have the most commits, I haven’t looked, but its still not just a single developer. That said, your concern is valid. Smaller projects are more likely to die as soon as their main contributors lose interest or stop working on it for any reason - see the end of DivestOS as a prime example [4].

[1] https://androguru.com/2023/05/lead-developer-of-grapheneos-steps-down-amid-escalating-harassment-and-swatting-attacks/

[2] https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/14/us/swatting-sentence-casey-viner/index.html

[3] https://github.com/orgs/GrapheneOS/people

[4] https://www.divestos.org/pages/news#end