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69 points

I gave up on reddit years ago but whenever someone posts about bidets it reminds me of my favorite reddit exchange

Someone posted asking why americans don’t use bidets. I commented, saying “am american, use bidet. Love it, shits tight”

Eventually a reply came from a confused esl person asking me if I had a constipation problem because they didn’t understand the colloquialism “shits tight”

I think about that exchange more often than I should

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13 points

I mean a bidet would help with tight shit as well.

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42 points

A bidet is a miracle device, helps in any and all situations. Diarrhea? Solved. Constipation? Solved. Regular? Surprisingly, solved. Wanna do the front too? Can be a bit awkward but it’s got you covered (in water, of course). Washing the throne? Solved. Basic calculus? Solved. Advanced calculus? Believe it or not, solved. Taxes? Avoided. Marriage counseling? Ever since I got my bidet my wife says my “stench is less appalling”. Solved, baby. I even use it to water the garden and defend my house from intruders.

Cannot recommend enough.

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6 points

Neti pot? Solved!

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1 point

Thirsty? Solved!

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1 point

Would require good water pressure. Although that’s a careful balancing act because you can go too far the other way. Then that’s an embarrassing hospital visit.

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2 points

Doubtful. I have never heard of residential water pressure high enough to do any damage.

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1 point

Fires up pressure washer with extreme prejudice.

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5 points

they didn’t understand the colloquialism “shits tight”

¡Duce’s Loose!

<wavesPinkyAndThumbInTheShaka>

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1 point

Someone posted asking why americans don’t use bidets. I commented, saying “am american, use bidet. Love it, shits tight”

Apparently they didn’t know shit.

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