I don’t really disagree with your overall point, I just think that’s being way over generous to the anon here.
Like, do you think talking to your wife like she was a dude is really the only thing at play here?
No. Since you asked, I think the communication issues are most likely caused by both people involved, not just the man. I think the wife (in the OP) was expressing her own frustration when she suggested divorce, then felt like she had to follow through with it when OOP didn’t react the way she wanted/expected him to. It sounds like neither person in that relationship is communicating effectively.