I work with a needy man, the kind of person who needs constant attention and feels threatened by silence. If I choose to read something on my phone instead of giving him attention he asks if everything’s all right. If I choose to meditate, adopting a yoga like position and closing my eyes before working he asks the same. It’s like he needs people talking to him constantly.
I am the opposite, I believe: I don’t talk about my life at work, I go there because I need a paycheck, but I’m open to learn from more knowledgeable colleagues, something he clearly is not.
What I’ve done so far: avoiding him, not looking him in the eye when he wants to talk to me, telling him that I’m working when he wants to talk to me, giving dull answers, feigning ignorance about several topics, ignoring him when I’m talking to another person and he asks what we’re talking about.
He still comes and sits next to me and tells me about his family, something I don’t care about.
I’m torn because I want to tell him to leave me alone, that I don’t care about his life, but considering the ‘offense’ this seems too much and knowing me I’d immediately regret it and feel bad about it.
Why am I like this?
Headphones. Headphones are an excellent tool for isolation in a workplace because they don’t raise objections or cause friction like saying you’re uninterested but they tend to be very effective at deflection.
Just get a nice big obvious pair of headphones and put them on when he might come by and, if he waves or something just immediately respond with “Sorry, I’m in the middle of this can you message me?”
And if they have the feature you could leave them in Tranparency mode, allowing you still hear everything going on as if you weren’t wearing them.
me: (with my headphones put on)
colleague: what are you listening to?
me: (speechless)
