Edit: People are really making me out to be an evil psychopath with no empathy. I get that you can only tell so much from one post, but itâs incredibly far from the truth. I have people that love and adore in my life and would do anything for. It just takes me a long ass time to get to that pointâŠand as an introvert, my social battery with new people wears down quickly. Online dating is just difficult. I am not rude to others. Conversations just quickly peter out and neither I or my match end up continuing for much longer. The âghostingâ I speak of is often mutual. These arenât people Iâve interacted with for months that I suddenly stop talking to. Itâs chatting for a day or several and then we peter out.
If you think from this small post that I am such a psychopath as to discard a literal child, I donât know what to tell you. Itâs just leaping to such wild conclusions that I donât even know how to respond. I donât even necessarily want kidsâŠI just want to be able to have the option to.
Iâm sorry if this is too odd or specific of a question, but I have a bit of a dilemma.
I live alone. I have some work friends work friends, but they basically stay just friends at work. So I get lonely sometimes. And sometimes I just want to have someone around to do stuff with me. And sometimes I wonder what it might be like to raise a family.
So I occasionally try dating apps. But when I finally get someone to respond to me, my reaction is first a little bit of excitement, but then I get annoyed at having to chat with someone I just met all the time. So I unfortunately act like a dickhole by then ghosting them soon after. Even if I manage enough stamina to chat back and forth for a week or so, it always just ends up tiring and a bother to me.
The thing is, I donât really have much capacity to feel attracted to people. Iâm probably somewhere on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums. So youâd think, why date? Just make a friendship then. But there are some things you canât do with a friendâŠlike raise a family and such.
Plus, I donât even think I could manage a friendship with how difficult it is for me to like someone. I donât like anyone I just met. It takes a long time for me to enjoy and appreciate people, and many never actually make it to the point of someone I really like. There have been a couple of times where I have tried hanging out with people as friends and itâs justâŠkind of dissatisfying to me?? Yet I really like hanging out with certain members of my family. I donât get it.
Plus likeâŠwhat are you even supposed to do on a date or on an outing with friends? What are you supposed to say when youâre chatting with a partner? How long and often are you supposed to chat with each other? I feel like I need some sort of a step by step guidebook because I donât even know what the hell people are supposed to do with each other.
Sorry if this is too specific. Iâm just wondering if anyone else out there is as confused with human interaction as I am.
Get platonic friends through a hobby, like D&D, online gaming, rock climbing, music, etc. Find something you can enjoy locally (ideally).