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101 points

In “who left their bag here”'s case, the gender of the person is not known because their identity isn’t known, so it doesn’t feel strange to use (for us old farts). It can take some effort to retrain your brain to use “they” when it’s a single person whose identity is known (speaking from experience as a Gen Xer).

Or the person might just be a transphobic asshole. But I like to think that most just need to educate themselves on using pronouns correctly.

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8 points

Oh yeah it took me a while to default to ‘they’ instead of ‘he/she’ lol
Sometimes I still mess up and assume, and sometimes I say ‘they’ when I don’t mean to also. Brains are weird.

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1 point
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24 points

Yeah it can take a while to get used to, especially if you knew the person before they changed their pronouns. But the point is it isnt incompatible with our language at all. I think the last panel would be better if it showed the (transphobic) guy and another person and he says “this activist said the craziest thing to me today” and then the second person says “oh yeah, what’d THEY say” because then the ‘they’ pronoun would be directly referring to the person who wanted to be called ‘they’ in the first place.

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29 points

One thing that might help it feel less strange is realising that you already use a grammatically plural pronoun to refer to individuals all the time: the word “you”. It’s always “you are tall”, not “you is tall”, same as “we” or “they” instead of “he” or “she”. This is because it was historically plural, and “thou” was the singular. Over time we started using the plural to be more polite, and then eventually always using it.

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4 points

It only feels strange because of how it’s been used previously in my lifetime, not from historical usage. But as you’ve shown, language changes over time, and not having a singular neutral pronoun has proven to be a big omission in English (since “they” has only traditionally been used that way in certain limited cases). If it was good enough for “you,” it’s good enough for “they!”

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10 points

“Thou is tall” sounds weird though.

you already use a grammatically plural pronoun to refer to individuals all the time: the word “you”. It’s always “you are tall”,

This made my brain short circuit lol. Can’t believe I never noticed.

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3 points

Yeah but that’s because you see it in archaic contexts. How do you feel about ‘thou art tall’?

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2 points

It’s “thee is tall.”

He, she, thee.

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8 points

I’m joining in the “this blew my mind” sentiment and just want to say thanks for sharing this tidbit of info.

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2 points

Thee has had thee mind blown?

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3 points

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1 point
17 points

I mean, I’m mid 30s, and it took me a long time to internalize “he, she, they” rather than “he, she, it”. It’s just how they were used when I was growing up. Fortunately, I’ve had the opportunity to learn and grow. At the end of the day, just speak with respect and make sure you listen as much as, or more than, speak.

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6 points

I agree. It’s hard to put myself back in the old mindset (and I was definitely not supportive of this type of thing back in pre-2014) but I really do think I used to use “his or her” more often than “their”, or at least in more formal settings.

I remember on Mark Rosewater’s Tumblr blog he ran a Q&A (he is the lead designer of Magic: The Gathering). Someone was asking about cards using “his or her” instead of “their” because not everyone uses he/she pronouns. His response was basically that the reason they did that was because they used the Chicago style guide and it said to use “his or her” when referring to a single person of unknown gender. Basically he said that he understood players have different genders, but it was just a style thing, and that the rules even said something about “his or her” referring to the player (regardless of gender). Since then, I believe Magic cards now use “their”, so it’s possible Chicago’s style guide changed (or at least Wizards’ policy did).

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-3 points

It’s a stupid excuse, use a different style guide going forward that uses “their” to refer to third person.

I’m glad they changed it, I’m still burnt out of the game because of design issues (board wipes, counterspells), repetitive cards with little innovation, and shitty business practices.

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4 points

I’m 47 and it just came naturally to me. 🤷

“They” made more sense to me than “it” in the first place.

Come to think of it, I still call babies “it” when I don’t know the gender all the time though.

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