for saying something like the word “retarded” while actual threats to humanity rise in power
That one is such a sad phenomenon. I recently saw it in a community I’m in: “Crazy”. If the word was once derogatory towards a group of people, I’d say it has long since lost its teeth, while the stigma it used to express continues to exist independently of individual words. Words have power, but fighting words is useless if the power goes unchecked and self-destructive if other, worse powers grow while you’re distracted.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t be mindful with your language, but maybe focus on the bigger issue first. I’m personally not a fan of people casually calling things autistic that aren’t, because I’m autistic and my need for clear, unambiguous language compels me to have certain specific terms keep their specific meaning. If you misuse it, I might bring it up (as a personal opinion type thing, I’m just as prone to error or misunderstandings as anyone else), but I wouldn’t attempt to “take you down” or anything over it while we’re both fighting people that do worse than just misuse language.
fighting words is useless if the power goes unchecked
I’m going to steal this.
In the meantime, I make deliberate efforts to NOT censor or filter my language if I’m not clearly attacking someone and someone takes issue with my use of… sigh… “crazy” then I know right away that person is NOT an alley to a greater cause, so if anything it does tend to save me some time. I rather let the sheltered kids argue it out with each other if the term “mad” is a problem or if doors should have five doorknobs at different levels to serve people of different heights. (I just made this one up on the spot, but fully expect to see it as the next major culture war flashpoint.)
The right has an advantage in that they don’t even think in language as much. This all exists on a spectrum of course, and strengths can become weaknesses in other areas, but it’s very hard to teach people that kind of nuance. But the lack of language-based thinking leads to more cohesive in-groups who don’t pick apart each other’s beliefs. They’re able to connect with each other far easier as emotional monkeys, but this also leads to the reinforcement of primitive emotions like fear of strangers and people who look or talk different.
As someone recently diagnosed as autistic also, I have become fond of giving people “the pass” if they take issue with my ableist language. It’s good for a laugh.
