https://jabde.com/2024/10/31/would-chad-love-me-as-a-worm/

Transcript:

Ever since I saw the trend on TikTok, I had to know if my boyfriend Chad would still love me if I were a worm. After sampling Chad by directly asking him on camera at least 25 times for statistical significance, ANOVA analysis revealed that he would indeed still love me if I were a worm. Unfortunately, previous studies regarding direct sampling of questions of romantic commitment, though proving similarly statistically significant, have not withheld independent validation tests. This replication crisis has revealed a worrying uncertainty. If this study were validated, it would likely show that Chad might not love me if I were a worm! It is impossible to validate the previous study as I am not able to turn into a worm. In this paper, the worm love question will be validated indirectly by exhibiting worm like behavior, appearance, and sexual practices to measure Chad’s response and therefore his true commitment to me. Analysis found that per behavior there is around a 39% percent chance that Chad will love me the same or more, a 34% percent chance that he will love me much less and a 27% chance that he loves me more because he got really worried at the end

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4 points

Maybe just a [Satire] tag at the start. Biggest gripe with Lemmy by far is lack of flairs, although I know that isn’t their fault.

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2 points

Sure, edited

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Academia Gone Wild

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A community for funny, quirky, and downright bizarre excerpts from peer-reviewed academic journals and scholarly textbooks. This is not an NSFW community, nor is it a place to make fun of the authors who dedicate immense time and effort to forwarding their respective fields. We’re laughing with them, not at them.

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