You want hotel? Yes. I take you. My brother hotel, very good. Very clean. No worry booking, you cancel. Brother hotel best. Good area. Lots of shops. Good for tourist.
First you need food, no? I take you restaurant. My cousin work. Very good, very cheap. No one know, can’t find unless you with me, I know. Very popular. Very good, very close to hotel. Less than one hour. Few minutes only.
…
“Is this the way to your cousin’s restaurant?”
Before eat must visit orphanage. Poor, starving, hungry orphans. Very sad if you not come. You come and see. Very happy children, you happy. Very poor. Think car like this rich! Haha! Think phone like you have very rich ha! But no worry, they not steal. Very good orphan. My uncle teach very good. Best behave. Very nice children, but very poor. No food every week. No parents.
(part II)
“Please, just take me to the hotel on my booking.”
Yes yes, I take you to hotel. Nice hotel. After eat.
“So we go to eat now?”
Yes yes. After see orphans. You want not make orphans sad? They sleep early. Cant visit later.
“No- Yes- I mean, we can’t visit the orphans now. Maybe another day. Please take me to this hotel.”
Oh, that hotel very bad. No give tips to driver. Road very bumpy. Bad for car. Must pay extra for car damage. You no worry! I take you good place! Orphan manager know very good place, very close. I ask him.
“No! Can’t you take me directly where I asked you?”
Oh, you want premium subscription? Premium subscription come with less advert, and 24h access to AI powered customer help line. Monthly subscription.
Monthly subscription not available in car. Only annual subscription.
“Fine. Here. Now, will you take me to this hotel. Now. Not after food. Not after orphans.”
Thank you. I give you little discount. One month free.
Now we go orphanage. Direct service only available after minimum three month of subscription.
“Enough! Stop! Let me out, I’ll find another taxi.”
You want stop here? Now? This field? No hotel, no shop? What, you walk ten mile back to taxi rank?
“Damn you, technical debt!”
(part III)
“Taxi!! Good morning, please take me to this school.”
Certainly. First we go to condom shop.
“What?! No! Why would I want that!”
How I know what you want? You tick, “no personalised ads.” So I not personalise.
“Take me to this school, directly. No detours. No adverts. And you will take Republic credits.”
What, you think you’re some sort of Jedi?
