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19 points

We’ve got to leave something interesting for the alien xeno-archaeologists of the future to uncover.

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1 point

Exactly, do you want them to know we polluted ourselves to death? That’s just shameful

Now, if we accidentally unleashed an ancient parasite? That’s just unfortunate

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11 points

Xeno-archaeologist 1,000 years from now: … yeah … it’s another one … fourth one in this sector … just blew themselves up and destroyed everything for some dumb reason … probably economics like in that last system 35 light years away … too bad … if we had arrived earlier, we could have helped them out … oh well

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3 points

Further research shows that they blew everything up trying to deal with the ancient, insatiable, worms they released on themselves out of curiosity. Upon reflection, it is probably better that we didn’t arrive earlier.

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6 points
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Alien #1: … HEY KORG! … look at this! … (picks up human skull and starts comically operating the jawbone) … HEY LOOK AT ME! Imma intelligent species and my economy is more important because I have to pay for these worms … so imma gonna blow up the world for some reason

KORG: … Stop messing around Kang … this place gives me the creeps, let’s get out of here.

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