Even if it wasn’t so much “manipulative”.
In person I am fanatically polite and helpful to almost everyone. But if you piss me off I will make you feel very bad about yourself.
I’m the same way, except instead of making you feel bad about yourself, I will feel bad about myself for feeling so angry at you.
Then if I’m upset enough, I will become moderately less polite or, in even more extreme cases, drop any joviality from my voice and speak to you only in monotone.