Maybe it is just performative and accepting it means not playing into their performance.

Or maybe it actually makes them uncomfortable. Imagine some old guy who can’t deal with people outside their experience suddenly having the person they’re uncomfortable with in the bathroom with them, saying “is this what you wanted”? Imagine someone actually offended a woman might use the woman’s restroom, realizing that means a woman has to use the men’s room with them.

Apparently I’m assuming something different than you are, assuming there’s some root to their performance. Every sexist, racist, genderist, xenophobic performance starts with someone who is sexist, racist, genderist, xenophobic etc. These people are not just empty vessels cynically performing for the gullible masses, they are actual bad people cynically performing